I need you
by reig
Summary: Sometimes he drives her crazy, sometimes he mistreats her, sometimes he lies to her, sometimes he tricks her. Sometimes he makes her laugh and sometimes he makes her cry. But even Teresa Lisbon can't deny that no matter what he does, Patrick Jane always tries to protect her.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! Welcome to new readers and welcome back to old friends! It's been a long time! I honestly hope you are all well and happy! :) I've been quite busy with another story these past months but I'm back to writing about The mentalist. This idea has been in my mind for some time now, it won't be a particularly long story but I hope you guys will enjoy it! So here comes chapter one! :) **

_Disclaimer: Sadly I still can't say I own it… _

_Chapter 1_

Lisbon rolled her eyes as she heard the soft shuffle of feet behind her.

"I told you to stay there!" she murmured to Jane, her eyes fixed on the scene in front of her.

"You might need my help." he argued and stepped closer to her.

"With this? I highly doubt it!" Lisbon said sarcastically with a smirk on her face. "I do believe I can pick out my own lunch, but thank you." she told him as she finally closed the fridge door and turned back to him. He was standing beside the counter in the CBI's small kitchen, holding his turqoise teacup gracefully between his index finger and thumb. She started walking past him in the direction of her office and Jane followed her like a puppy.

"You didn't pick anything!" he observed.

"I didn't like any of the stuff in the fridge..." she muttered, thinking about ordering a pizza.

"Maybe if I helped..." he offered and Lisbon bit the inside of her cheek to keep from grinning.

"Don't you have anything better to do, Jane?" she asked, trying to sound annoyed. Frankly, she was delighted that he was there with her, back to his old, teasing self, annoying the crap out of her. For weeks now, he had been locked up in his attic, working on tricking and finding Red John and shutting her and everyone out and today was the first day he came down on his own without a strict order from her.

"I was hoping we would have a case… Isn't there a body or something?" he asked as he plopped down on her couch, making himself comfortable.

"Jane, I think we've talked about this before, we don't hope for a body. If we have a body it means somebody died and that is a bad thing..." she explained to him, like he was a five year old who needed to be reminded.

"I know, I'm just so bored." He sighed and took a sip of his tea.

"Well I have loads of paperwork to do, so I will definitely not be bored until about…" she looked at her watch before continuing. "About 5 in the afternoon." She said matter of factly.

"Then I guess I have nothing better to do than stay here and keep you company!" Jane told her with a small shrug, sounding all too pleased with the outcome.

"So what, you're gonna watch me do paperwork all afternoon?" she asked doubtfully, sitting down and grabbing the edge of her desktop to pull herself closer to it. She elbowed on the desktop and scowled at the pile of files for a second before reaching for the first one.

"I wouldn't exactly call it watching..." he tried to sidestep and deflect her question. "Just being here in case you needed insight on something, or maybe you need me to make you coffee though I would still recommend tea. It's way healthier and classier. You should totally change to it Lisbon." he suggested with a know-it-all expression.

"Sure, whatever." she murmured back, but her attention was already entirely on the document in front of her.

An hour passed by like this, with him sitting on her couch, peeking at her from the corner of his eye, reading a book, whistling a little tune from time to time. Lisbon was halfway through the paperwork when he put his book down and started sighing dramatically. He crossed his legs, swinging his foot up and down a few times before changing legs and doing the same with the other.

"Lisbon…" he spoke up after a few minutes, his tone whiny. Lisbon put her pen down and looked up at him expectantly.

"What Jane?" she asked, her tone now genuinely annoyed. The little noises he was constantly making bothered her to the point of not being able to write down a sentence correctly so she had been just waiting for him to interrupt her work since he put his book down.

"Don't you want to play a game?" he offered and he scooted to the end of the couch which was closer to her desk, blinking at her hopefully.

"Jane, I've got work to do…" she said with a sigh and she had to keep a straight face when he pouted.

"But you have been doing that for over an hour now and it's absolutely boring! You could use a break as well!" he tried to convince her.

"I would like to go home in an agreeable hour today so I don't have time for a break!" she told him and reached for the next case file.

"But Lisbon…" he sulked.

"Okay Jane, let's play the silent game, all right?" she suggested with the purse of her lips. She liked having him around, she really did but when he was a pain in the neck she couldn't bear him for long. Especially not when she still had at least an hour of paperwork to look forward to.

"Very funny, my dear, so hilarious!" he muttered with an amused smirk on his face. "Come on, a guessing game! Or a chain of words… Or 20 questions! Or chess! Or cards! I've got a deck of cards in my desk…" he said, getting all excited as he listed the games.

"Jane how old are you?" she asked with a quirk of her eyebrows as she flipped the file open.

"Lisbon, please!" he lengthened his words with a pleading tone and Lisbon rubbed her face with her hands. She would sure as hell get no work done if he kept on this childish attitude.

"Hey Boss!" Cho stepped into her office after a short knock on the open door.

"Cho, what's up?" she asked from him with a relieved smile.

"We've got a new case!" he informed her with a stoic face, glancing at Jane who was on his feet next to the couch the moment the agent stepped into the office.

"Oh thank God!" she let out an exhale, grateful for any distraction from desk work and Jane's nagging, and pushed herself away from her desk.

"Lisbon, need I remind you that when somebody dies it's a bad thing?" Jane scolded her seriously, shaking his head disapprovingly but when Lisbon glared at him there was a mischievous sparkle in his crystal blue eyes.

"I'm going to shoot you…" she hissed through gritted teeth and a cheeky grin spread on the blond consultant's face.

"You wouldn't do that. It would just give you more paperwork!" he replied confidently and he motioned towards the door. "Shall we? A body's waiting for us!"

She rolled her eyes and grabbed her jacket from the back of her chair before following Cho out of her office.

"Cho, text me the address!" she called after the man who was already on his way to his own desk in the bullpen.

"You got it, Boss!" Cho nodded.

"Come on Jane, let's go!" Lisbon said over her shoulder as she started for the elevator. She repressed her grin when she heard his quick steps behind herself and she could practically see him jogging after her. He caught up to her in front of the elevator and they stepped in together. During the short ride down her cell phone beeped, signaling she had a new message. Opening it she saw that it was the address of the crime scene from Cho.

"Can I drive?" sounded Jane's enthusiastic question as they reached her car in the garage.

"My car?" she asked back and he nodded. "Not a chance!" she told him coldly and opened the door to the driver's seat.

Jane let out a displeased huff as he climbed in next to her. He was silent for a bit and Lisbon began to hope that he would behave until they got to the scene. But just as she drove onto the highway he turned to her with a grin.

"Do you want to play a traveling game?" he suggested but Lisbon only growled, gripping the steering wheel tightly to keep from punching him in the nose.

"I'm so going to kick you out of the moving car..."

* * *

By the time they arrived at the crime scene Lisbon was more than glad to get out of the vehicle. When she refused to play games Jane started to whistle, to 'entertain himself' and when she tuned on the radio he started to hum along to every single song that aired and didn't stop it until the moment he caught sight of the police cars and the people gathered around.

As soon as she stopped the car he hopped out and rushed forward, not even waiting for her to get out. She rolled her eyes as she hurried after him towards the big house, flashing her badge at the door.

"Agent Lisbon, CBI. Who's in charge?" she asked from the officer who greeted her.

"I believe that would be me, agent. I'm Detective Shane." a tall, red headed man stepped up to them and extended his hand before the officer could say another word.

Lisbon shook the offered hand firmly then looked around to take in the scene.

They were standing in the hall of a nice looking mansion with soft carpets under their feet and a huge, wooden staircase leading up to a second floor right in front of them. The wallpapers were deep orange and there were flowers on every small table.

"The victim is in the kitchen, just across the living room on the left. Your agents are already there…" The detective said and motioned towards the room on their left. Lisbon nodded and briskly crossed the living room, barely taking time to admire the enormous fireplace and the elegant decoration.

The first thing she saw when she reached the kitchen was her consultant, frozen to the spot a few steps away from the victim. His unfocused eyes were fixed on the corpse, full of pain and sadness. His face contorted in an expression of grief Lisbon knew all too well. An expression that only appeared on his face when…

She looked around frantically, her eyes sliding over the white walls until she saw. That unmistakable, horrendous sign. A red, bloody smiley.

Her breath got caught in her throat as she took in the room. The tiles covered with splattered blood all around the body of a young brunette. The smudge of crimson blood on her torn green summer dress. The bruises on her wrists, the way her legs were tangled. The mess that her hair was. The broken pieces of a coffee cup on the floor just next to the sink.

All and every detail started to swirl and mix up with the haunted expression of Jane, the tears in his eyes. Eyes that not so long ago sparkled at her mischievously, tempting her to smack him in the face for annoying the hell out of her. Eyes that now looked as if he had seen ghosts, as if he had seen all the bad in the world…

Lisbon took a deep breath, trying to calm her racing heart, clear her dizzy mind. The pervasive smell of blood and death didn't help but she managed to compose herself enough to step further into the room.

She tore her eyes away from the sight in front of her and searched for Cho. Her agent was already coming towards her with his trademark, stern face and his notebook in hand. And if Lisbon didn't know him so well, she would have said that it didn't shake him at all. But she knew him like a brother, and she saw what he tried to cover with the mask of professionalism, she saw the deep sorrow and empathy for Jane in his eyes.

"You didn't tell me it was Red John…" she muttered, her voice low and careful, respectful of the victim of the violent act that happened in the room mere hours ago.

"They didn't say!" Cho stated, his tone the slightest bit defensive and Lisbon met his eyes, assuring him with a look that she wasn't blaming him at all.

"What do we know about her?" she asked, nodding towards the woman.

"Her name is Lucy Winters and she's 27. Cleaning lady found her when she came at 4." He nodded towards the trembling old woman out on the terrace with an uniform. "She lived here with her husband, William Winters, head of Winters Co., a chemical and biological testing company." Cho said, his eyes now on the brunette, a small wrinkle between his eyebrows as his eyes ran over her.

"I want uniforms canvassing the neighborhood, asking around for anybody who might have been suspicious and pull the security camera footages from the area. Also, ask VanPelt to check out her phone records, I want to see who she has been in contact with!" she told him with a practiced ease and he nodded. Even though they both knew that Red John cases were special that they were walking on thin ice with each one of them, they had to start the investigation from the basics just liked with any other case.

"You got it, Boss!" Cho said and closed his notebook. He cast one last glance at the victim then his eyes slid to Jane's unmoving form, still standing next to the body. Then without a word, Cho turned away and made his way out of the house to start giving orders.

Lisbon followed him with her eyes, stalling as much as she could before turning her eyes on Jane as well. She knew what came next, she had to go there and throw off the safe mask of a cop and be a friend. On the one hand, she hated it. Hated to see the pain in his eyes, hated to see him crumbling to pieces every time Red John appeared. Hated to see how he relived those fateful, horrible moments over and over again. Hated to witness how he got obsessed every time, how he didn't eat or sleep as he made up a plan to catch Red John and then see how he failed again. Hated to feel the way he shut everyone out in the process. It broke her heart to be the one who picked up the pieces and tried to fix him every time. But on the other hand, she loved that he trusted her with seeing him this broken, he trusted her with seeing him at his worst. She loved to be there for him, she loved to hold him, to be the shoulder he could lean on, she just wished it didn't have to hurt him so badly. And no matter how much it hurt her to see him in this pain, she couldn't have resisted the urge to help him even if she wanted. She cared for him too much…

So she had to go there and put on a brave face for him.

She approached him slowly, carefully, knowing that he was in such a deep haze of memories and thoughts right then that he was probably unaware of the things happening around him. With her eyes on him and him only she reached out and gently touched his arm.

"Jane!" she murmured and felt him startle. He broke his eyes away from the woman's body and looked at her, his cold, troubled stare giving her chills down her spine. He looked so tormented.

"It's him, Lisbon…" he croaked, his voice emotionless.

"I know, Jane. We should go…" she suggested, stroking his arm to relax his rigid posture.

"I can't. Not yet." He whispered, turning back to the murdered woman a few feet away from him on the ground. Lisbon saw the way his jaw clenched and felt the muscles of his arm under her fingers as he fisted his hand.

"Okay, then we stay." She told him softly, not wanting to push anything. She turned her eyes back on the victim again, watching her closely. She was really pretty even with her young face morphed into an expression of panic. Her forest green eyes were still open, staring into nothing. Her upper lip was ruptured and there was a small droplet of blood at the corner of her mouth.

It was this violent, disturbed, completely unpeaceful state of the dead that always made Lisbon shudder. When she was a little girl, she was told by her parents that death was a natural thing. That was the rest after the work of a long life. But this, what she saw almost every day, what people did to others couldn't be further from natural. These victims didn't get the chance to live their full life, they didn't get to work until their well deserved rest came. They got deprived from their peace by the aggressiveness of other people. And that was one of the reasons why she worked so hard to bring these people to justice. To give the victims at least some part of the peace they deserved. To honor them. To make up for the fact that through no fault of their own their well deserved rest was ripped from them and their lives were cut short, ended unnaturally.

A slight movement from Jane made her look up again, her eyes searching for the blue eyes of her consultant, waiting for the reassuring that he was ready to go. But instead she found his eyes squeezed shut and his lips pressed tightly together in a firm line. The expression on his face is one that she barely ever seen on Patrick Jane. One of pure agony. One that only ever appeared on his beautiful face when he thought of his family, of what Red John did to them, when his unreasonable guilt had taken over him. And she couldn't bear that expression on the face that was always radiating joy and hope, it made her feel weak and exposed and alone. She shyly reached down and clutched his hand, a feeble attempt to anchor him to reality, to reassure him that she was there for him.

An excruciatingly long minute passed by until Jane finally opened his eyes again and turned his attention towards Lisbon. Their eyes met, his sad ocean blues piercing into her greens and she realized that she was still holding his hand. She instantly tried to let his hand go while fighting against a blush, but she found that his fingers curled around her palm and he stroke her skin softly. Silently thanking her without words.

"Let's go!" he muttered and she nodded. He broke the eye contact and without looking at the room one more time he spun on his heel and made a bee line for the front door. Lisbon followed him with worry etching her heart, only stopping to give quick orders to the ME.

He was waiting for her next to the car and as soon as she opened it he got inside. All the way back to the headquarters he didn't say a word, a rare occasion which Lisbon would have appreciated if it wasn't in the given situation. When she parked the car in the garage she turned to him, taking in his rather shaken appearance before taking a breath.

"Jane please don't do this… Don't shut us out. We've talked about this about a hundred times already. We have to work together as a team, that's the only way we have a chance at catching him." she said quietly but he just kept staring out the windshield. "Patrick, please!" she pleaded with him and at last he looked at her.

"I'm just putting you in danger, Lisbon." He sighed. "You all would be better off without me…"

"Jane, we've been over this. We are friends, we are family. Let us be there for you!" she reached out and put her hand on his for a moment before turning to get out of the car. "Work with us on this to catch him!"

He didn't answer anything, he just got out of the car as well but as they walked to the elevator, Lisbon felt the barely there pressure of his hand at the small of her back.

**So, this was it. I really hope you liked it and I hope you are interested in more. I would absolutely love to hear your opinions so please leave me a review and tell me your thoughts! I would really appreciate it! :)  
Thank you all for reading and reviewing!**

**If all goes as planned, next chapter will be up in a week! So until then, xxx**


	2. Chapter 2

**You guys are awesome! I mean seriously the best! Thank you all so much for the alerts and the reviews, they make me happier than you could imagine…;)  
Many of you smart readers have already noticed the little clues I left in the first chapter and figured out where I want this story to go, so congrats and I hope you will enjoy the way I write it!  
Oh and I forgot to mention it at the beginning that English is not my mother tongue so if there are any grammatical or spelling mistakes, I apologize! Thanks for your understanding! :)  
Here is the new chapter, I really hope you will like it! **

_Disclaimer: I still don't own the show and the characters._

_Chapter 2_

"Where are we on the victim?" Lisbon asked in a strong voice as soon as she marched into the bullpen with Jane trailing after her, deep in thought.

"I've got her phone records and I'm going over it now!" VanPelt announced from her desk, her eyes fixed on the screen of her computer.

"Great, you do that. Rigsby?" Lisbon looked at the tall agent who just finished stuffing a huge piece of sandwich into his mouth.

"Traffic cams." He spoke around the bite and she rolled her eyes.

"Good. Where's Cho?" she looked around, searching for the missing member of her team.

"He stayed at the crime scene to make sure everything went where it was supposed to. He texted me five minutes ago, saying that he was headed back here so he should be here in ten." VanPelt told her and Lisbon nodded.

"Good, keep looking! When Cho gets in tell him to come to my office and I want to hear the statement of the cleaning lady who found the vic!" Lisbon ordered and when both her agents nodded their heads she started for her office, knowing rather than hearing that Jane was following.

"You know we won't find anything…" she heard his quiet murmur and she looked back to see him pull the door of her office closed.

"I'm not used to such optimism from you, Jane!" she teased him in a sarcastical tone, hoping to lighten the mood a bit with her remark. She hated when he was so grim.

"He never leaves anything behind. Not if it isn't specifically his game, not if he doesn't want us to find it…" he told her, sitting down on her couch, leaning his elbows on his knees and bending his head into his hands.

"Look Patrick, I can't look at it that way. I have to solve the murder of Lucy Winters, whether it was Red John or not I've got to pursue all the leads I have and I will try my best to find each and every one of them. So maybe he's a clever serial killer and sophisticated in a very sick way but everyone makes mistakes and if he does I want to be there, alert and ready to send that son of a bitch where he belongs, to jail."

"He doesn't make mistakes." He stated, his voice muffled by his hands.

"He will." She said defiantly and sat down behind her desk. She reached for the mouse and slid it from side to side a couple of times to bring her computer screen alive. Then without taking another glance at her consultant she started doing a protocol background check on her victim.

It could have been hours or minutes, she didn't know, by the time she noticed that Jane moved from his position on her couch. When she looked up her eyes were moist and blurry from staring at the screen for a long time and she had to blink a couple of times to focus her eyes on the room around her. Her eyebrows shot up when she realized that Jane was gone, he walked out of the office without saying a word. He must have snuck out sometime during she was engrossed in learning all about Lucy Winters.

Lisbon scraped her teeth across her bottom lip in concern, immediately wondering where he could be. She hoped he didn't come up with an idiot plan and went to get himself into trouble. She really hoped he wouldn't try to shut the team out and solve this one all alone. Because even though she knew that he regarded every Red John case as his own challenge to catch the serial killer who ruined his life by murdering his family, even though she knew that Jane wanted the killer all to himself so he could get his revenge, Lisbon knew that no matter how brilliant Jane was, he didn't really stand a chance against Red John. He wasn't trained, he didn't know how to use a gun. Well, he did use a gun when he shot Timothy Carter but that wasn't the point… The point was as much as she hated to admit that she and her team needed Jane in solving cases, he needed them as well. They grew on each other, they learnt to lean on each other, trust each other and help each other out. It wasn't that Jane didn't have the wits to trick Red John, she just believed that he wouldn't be capable of doing the things his vengeance prompted him to do.

She was just about to go out into the bullpen and ask the others if they had seen Jane when the door of her office was pushed open by a shoulder. Lisbon was relieved to recognize that shoulder and the three piece suit of the person, it was Jane. She scowled as she watched as he entered the room, his back keeping the door open because his hands were full.

"What the hell, Jane?" she chuckled as she saw the boxes and two take out cups in his arms.

"A little help would be nice, thank you very much Lisbon!" he told her in a playful tone and she was surprised to hear his change of mood.

By the time she stood up to help him he was already beside her coffee table and put down his load, arranging it on the table while she came closer.

"What is this, Jane?" she asked amusedly, regarding the things he had brought. The boxes looked much like take out food boxes and she could smell the coffee from the steaming cup from where she was standing.

"Lunch. Or more like early dinner. I know you haven't eaten since breakfast so you must be starving..." Jane said with a grin as she stepped next to him. He handed her one of the cups and he grabbed the other one, taking the lid off and inhaling deeply.

"Hmmm...I love honeybush tea!" he moaned and Lisbon took a sip of her own beverage as well, knowing that it wasn't honeybush tea. Patrick Jane knew better than to show up with tea for her instead of coffee.

She had to admit it, she was indeed really hungry. She hadn't realized it because she was so immersed in her work, but now she was reminded by her growling stomach that she didn't eat lunch. She faintly remembered going to the kitchen to get something to eat then coming back empty handed when she didn't fancy anything in the fridge, but after that she just forgot to eat. Wouldn't be the first time and certainly wouldn't be the last either...

"Thanks!" she smiled at him when they both took a seat on her couch. She sank back into the fluffy cushions and let herself melt into them for a second, enjoying how soft they were compared to the office chair she had been sitting in for hours. "So what do you have?" she asked before reaching for the boxes of food.

"Pasta. That's bolognaise, that is three cheese, that is carbonara, that one over there is pesto and that is something with a weird looking sauce with vegetables and cheese but it smells nice!" Jane said, pointing at each box.

"All right, so we have enough food to feed an army here…" she rolled her eyes, scolding him playfully.

"I wasn't sure which one you'd like." He shrugged and she laughed.

"The big Patrick Jane not knowing something, well this is a first!" she said and grabbed the box closest to her. "Well, even though the one with the 'weird sauce that smells nice' is really tempting I will leave that to you and stick with the always good, classical bolognaise!" she told him and opened the box. The delicious smell of the food invaded her senses and her mouth watered. She dig in, eager to get some food into her famished stomach.

"Bon appetite!" Jane said with a smirk and he took one of the boxes as well.

* * *

That night Lisbon went home with a weird feeling. She pushed it to the back of her mind, ignoring it all afternoon but as she stepped into her empty, silent apartment she couldn't dismiss it anymore. Something was wrong but she couldn't quite figure out what.

She went around her apartment while thinking, switching on the lights first in the kitchen then in the living room as she walked, putting her bag and jacket on the couch. She went into the bathroom and took off her clothes, completely on autopilot. She got into the shower and opened the tap, delighting in the way the hot water flowed down on her tense body.

The day had been a long one with the excitement of a new case, moreover a Red John case. Cho told her that he tried to reach the husband of the victim but he was on a business trip and he couldn't talk to him, however his assistant promised that he would call them back as soon as possible. He didn't call yet and it was rather suspicious for Lisbon. If a husband found out that his wife was killed, wasn't it the first thing to call back the police? To come home and mourn her?

But Lisbon knew this wasn't the source of her uneasiness. As she ran her fingers through her wet hair she realized that it had more to do with the fact that Jane had been surprisingly cheery all night. After their late lunch he took the remaining food out to the bullpen for the others, which wasn't really unusual but then he stayed there with them, bantering and joking. Then he teased Cho about the victim's husband and that if Cho had been more charming on the phone maybe the husband would have already called.

It wouldn't have been weird if it was any other case. But it was this case, a Red John case. And Jane never acted this light and teasing when the serial killer was concerned. Lisbon knew Jane, by now he should have locked himself in his attic, trying to come up with a new plan to catch Red John. All alone. He should have gone all closed up and guilty and depressed. Not that she preferred him that way, but she knew him and this wasn't like him at all. No, something was definitely wrong…

She stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around herself, reaching for a hair clip to put her wet hair up in a quick bun. She dried herself off and went into her bedroom to put on some clothes.

Her eyes slid over her messily made bed and she sighed. Her tired body craved sleep, even after a relatively slow day with almost no action she longed to just snuggle up with a pillow under her warm covers and let sleep take over her.

But she couldn't rest yet. She knew she had to go back to the CBI and search for Jane, find out what was going on inside his head. Figure out his plan before he did something stupid. Now that she knew something was so wrong she knew she wouldn't be able to sleep if she didn't go and talk to him.

She only stopped for a cup of coffee in her kitchen to give her some energy, quickly draining it, not even bothering to sit down. She left the cup on the top of the pile of dirty plates in the sink, hoping that she would have time to do the dishes one of these days. She should be using disposable cups and plates…

Her car came to life with the low buzz of the engine and she drove off, wishing nothing more than to have a normal, everyday life without the burden of murders, kidnappers, tons of paperwork and babysitting Patrick Jane. She loved having him as a friend, but he could be a handful sometimes. Okay, most of the time.

The drive to the CBI was quicker than her drive home, everybody was already at home getting ready for bed. She waved at the night guard with a sad little smile and parked her car. She checked the clock on her cell while she waited for the elevator and discovered that it was already past midnight.

She didn't spare a glance at the dark bullpen when she stepped out of the elevator, she went straight to the stairs leading up to the attic.

As she approached the big, metal door her mind threw questions at her. What would she say to him to make him open up to her? How would she convince him that no matter what his plan was, it was dangerous and reckless? Would he even let her in? What if he wasn't even in there? And if he wasn't, where was he?

She shooed away those doubts with three firm knocks on the door which echoed through the attic. First there was no sound from inside and Lisbon bounced on the ball of her feet anxiously. Then after a minute she heard the barely there shuffle of feet and in the next moment the door slid open a bit. There was just enough of a gap between the wall and the edge of the door for Jane to peek out.

"Lisbon, what a nice surprise! How may I help you?" he asked with a tiny, yet oh so charming smile, opening the door just a little bit more, but blocking the entrance with his body. His face and voice seemed joyful but she could see through him.

"Drop the act Jane and let me in!" she told him dryly with a roll of her eyes.

"What are you talking about?" he asked, still smiling but his eyes grew dark, the same darkness she knew so much, haunted and depressed. He didn't move an inch.

"Jane, this is Red John. I know you. I know you're trying with some kind of a plan, I know you're trying to play us so we wouldn't figure it out. But I know you, Jane. You can't fool me..." she said, stepping closer but he still didn't let her in. They were standing almost nose to nose. She took a deep breath, feeling her stomach tense up but she didn't back away, her determination only getting stronger when she noticed that he seemed to go slightly white.

"Go home, Lisbon." He muttered and moved to close the door, but she put her foot in the way, blocking the door.

"Let me in, Jane…" she told him softly and the double meaning wasn't lost on either of them. Finally Jane stepped back with a resigned sigh and walked away towards the window.

Lisbon entered the attic, her eyes quickly running over the desk at the window and the makeshift bed that consisted of a crumpled sheet, a tiny pillow and a blanket. His board with all his information about Red John was gone and instead she spotted the little, square pictures on his desk. His guesses for the identity of the serial killer. His suspects…

He didn't look at her as she came closer, he kept his back to her, standing towards the window with his arms crossed. Like a pouting child. She approached slowly, knowing full well that she had to win him over, had to sweet-talk him into telling her his plan.

"Jane, let me help! Let me be there for you, please… Please do this, if not for anything else, do it for me!" she started, standing right beside him, staring out the window as well. The night fell on the city like a heavy cover, making the lights sparkle like many stars. Jane didn't say a word so she continued. "Look, I know what this means to you. I'm not trying to take it away from you, I just want you to be safe. Angela and Charlotte wouldn't want you to get hurt while getting your revenge. They wouldn't want you to devote your life to something like this. They wouldn't want you to destroy yourself. When will you see it, Jane, that your life is more important than their death?" she reasoned, getting a bit carried away by the time she finished.

Minutes passed by in silence and Lisbon was afraid that she had taken it too far and she was ready to just apologize, walk away and probably spend the night in her office, watching that Jane didn't go anywhere and do anything stupid. She took a breath to say she was sorry when he suddenly turned to her, and that was when she saw his expression.

Broken. Completely destroyed. Tormented. Obsessed. So deeply, absolutely sad that it made her heart shatter into several tiny pieces.

At the same time, she was relieved because he was finally dropping the act. He was being honest with her again.

"It's not about their death, it's about the life they didn't get to live!" he whispered hoarsely.

"It is not your fault." She said for the millionth time, but the look in his eyes told her that she could say it as many times as she liked, he would still think he was the one to blame.

"You don't know how feels to wake up every day after a night full of turning and tossing and nightmares, and knowing that your family is dead. That your daughter will never reach adulthood, never experience love and the pure happiness of having her own child? That you will never get to grow old with your wife… And all of it because of a stupid, thoughtless, show off comment you made on Tv. You don't know how it feels like to know that he watches you all the time, knows what you do and say and that he can use it against you any time. And you have no way, no ability to tell when he will strike again. You can't know who will be his next victim… What if it's you Lisbon? Or VanPelt?"

"It won't be!" she said, but her brain threw a very vivid image at her. The image of her latest murder victim. Lucy Winters was fairly short and had hark brown hair and green eyes, just like herself. Lisbon shook her head quickly to clear away the image. It was just a coincidence, or a trick to mess with Jane's head. Red John couldn't get to her, and even if he did, she was a trained police officer, a senior agent of the CBI, she was very much capable of defending herself.

Long moments passed between them as they stared into each other's eyes, each stubbornly and confidently trying to convince the other that they were wrong, that they had to give up but neither would do. A series of muffled car horn noises broke the silence of the night and Lisbon's cop instincts kicked in, making her turn her eyes to the window and trail them over the street outside. She saw the small lights coming from cars, moving quickly and she made a brief prayer to God on their behalf. She didn't want anybody to live through what she had to when she lost her mother. The sound of movement beside her caught her attention a minute later, breaking her out of her painful memories.

She looked at Jane, or more correctly at his back as he walked away from her, out of the attic.

"Wait, where are you going?" she called after him, hurrying to catch up with him. "Jane!" she exclaimed when she heard his steps on the stairs. She jogged down the stairs and only saw his blond curls disappearing in the corridor leading to the bullpen.

The bullpen was still covered in darkness and she narrowed her eyes to see as she looked around, searching for him. After a second she realized that he wasn't there and a tiny noise coming from the kitchen told her where he could possibly be. She made her way to the kitchen and sure enough, Jane was there, making a cup of tea for himself.

"Jane! Why did you do that?" she asked from him angrily.

"I needed a tea and you seemed lost in thought… Look Lisbon, please go home and leave me alone with my thoughts!" he said while dipping a teabag in his cup.

"No way I'm leaving! I know you Jane, and you are planning something again. I can't let you do it alone!" she shook her head. "Please tell me, what's on your mind, Jane?"

He took a deep breath and turned away from her, reaching up to open a cupboard and return with a bottle of honey. He put a spoonful of it into his tea and watched it, completely absorbed in the movement. Lisbon started feeling hopeless about convincing him, his ignorance was making her frustrated and helpless.

When Jane finally looked up, their eyes met and he must have seen in her eyes how exhausted she was because she could see his resolve weaken and something like surrender appear on his face.

"This time, it's different, Lisbon." He stated quietly.

"What do you mean?" she asked, furrowing her eyebrows. She stepped forward, eyes fixed on him expectantly, waiting to finally hear what was going on in that complicated head of his.

"As soon as I stepped into that kitchen and set eyes on that poor woman I knew that the end game had started. She wasn't just some random woman, Red John chose her with a reason." He said and Lisbon felt her stomach clench in anticipation.

"What reason? Did you know her?" she guessed, remembering Jane's expression as he stared at the corpse.

"No." he breathed and shook his head. "But I know somebody who looks exactly like her..." he added and looked pointedly at Lisbon.

The image of the young woman popped up in her head again and this time she couldn't help the icy fear that swept through her at the thought that she could be the next one.

"Don't be ridiculous, it's just a coincidence!" she snapped at Jane with a scowl, trying to convince him with the same argument she used to calm her own racing brain a few minutes ago.

"I hoped so as well, until I found this!" he said and shoved his hand into his pant pocket and retrieved a piece of folded paper. He handed it to her and she felt his stare on herself as she unfolded it, equal parts eager and terrified to find out what was inside. However, she couldn't have prepared for the words written in the middle of the paper with messy, red letters that looked horribly like they had been written with blood.

**And this was it for chapter two. I really hope you liked it and I would love to know your opinions about it so pretty please leave me a review! It would mean the world to me to know your thoughts about it… :)  
Thank you all for reading and reviewing! I'm so grateful for you guys! **

**If all goes planned, next chapter will be up at the latest in a week! Until then, xxx**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey you amazing, wonderful people! You seriously make me so incredibly happy with your support and feedback! I can't even tell you how grateful I am! Really, thanks to all of you who put the story in favorites and alerts and a huge, enormous thank you to every single one of you who left me a review. To those who left anonymus or guest reviews, although I can't answer you guys individually in a message, I hope you know I appreciate it and I'm really happy you like the story! :)  
So this was just a brief rambling about how much I love you all! Here is the next chapter, I truly hope you guys will enjoy it! **

_Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own The mentalist…_

_Chapter 3_

**_'The end is near my friend and now the tiger comes for the lamb, tomorrow night he will feast…'_**

She stared at the words in blood and felt darkness envelope her and dizziness take over her body for a moment before she got a grip on her feelings. She looked up from her shaking hands to Jane who was still watching her with his teacup halfway to his lips.

"You can't know that's me…" she muttered but both of them knew that it was just a weak try.

"Of course I know. Who else could that be?" he said bitterly and took the paper from her.

"Anybody… it could even be you!" Lisbon said, attempting to sound firm and brave but she had to lean on the table for support because her legs started trembling. She could feel the blood of Lucy Winters on her fingers and that made her sick.

"Me? The lamb? Now you're being ridiculous, Lisbon!" Jane laughed humorlessly and she could see a dark fire flame up in his eyes. "It's so obvious he could have as well written Saint Teresa!" he growled and Lisbon was surprised to find that her heart was racing as she looked at his furious face. She would never have thought but Patrick Jane could be frightening when he wanted to…

"So what now?" she asked, chasing away her fears. She couldn't let her fears hold her back from her job. Her best move had always been to face and fight her fears.

"He will send his next message soon. He won't be satisfied with only threatening to hurt you, he wants me… He wants me to suffer, that's why he's threatening to kill you but in the end, the life he really wants is mine." Jane said, taking a few steps along the kitchen counter and Lisbon knew that he wasn't really talking to her, he was just thinking aloud.

"So you're saying he won't try to kill me…or whoever the lamb is?" she asked as she followed his pacing with her eyes.

"You are the lamb, Lisbon. And no, I'm not saying that. He will try to kill you, he will kill you if he has the chance, just to hurt me… But don't worry, I won't let him! That's why he will send another message, he knows I would do anything to keep him away from you. He knows that I would give my life in exchange for yours…" he said solemnly and Lisbon felt her heart constrict. She couldn't help the flush that crept up her neck, even though she knew Jane was just speaking as a friend. He wanted to protect her because they were best friends, because he wouldn't be able to stand the thought that another person he cared about got hurt because of him. She just hated her heart for fluttering like a nervous teenage girl's as she heard his words.

"We should stay together, work together… Call the others, together as a team we have a chance at catching him!" she said, trying to reason with him. She couldn't let him throw his life away either. No, she would fight until her last breath, she wouldn't let Red John have him!

"It's the middle of the night, Lisbon. I don't think Cho would be too pleased to be woken up right now. Rigsby and VanPelt are probably fast asleep as well… Let them rest. You should too!" he said, dumping his teacup in the sink.

"I'm not tired." She lied, cursing her system when she felt a yawn build up in her just as the words left her mouth. She fought it and managed to repress it but she saw the unbelief in Jane's eyes as he looked at her.

"Really?" he asked sarcastically.

"Look Jane, now I couldn't sleep if I wanted to…" she told him fiercely.

"You don't have to be afraid Lisbon, I will protect you." He said, his tone reassuring and she chuckled.

"I'm not afraid Jane, and I am very capable of protecting myself." She said, not telling him that she wouldn't be able to sleep because she would be constantly worried about him. About what stupidity he would decide to do, what absolutely reckless plan he would conjure up in his mind while she was asleep.

She stood up from the chair and started in the direction of the bullpen. She heard his steps, following her as usual. She walked to the whiteboard that was set up in the middle with the information about the victim on it and the basics of the Red John file. Not that they needed it, they knew it all by heart…

She ran her eyes over the crime scene photos and took down the ME report. She scanned the page with a practiced eye, reading what she had already suspected. Cause of death was multiple stabs to the chest and stomach. Signs of strangling around the neck. Two pairs of broken ribs, a broken arm and a cracked wrist.

Lisbon looked back at the picture of the victim. The woman had fought a lot, she was strong and she wanted to live. Tears came to Lisbon's eyes as she involuntarily saw Lucy Winters's last moments alive in her head. How she struggled to get that faceless monster off her, how she screamed for help, how his hands closed around her throat and she felt as she started to loose consciousness as air left her lungs. Lisbon could almost hear her sobs as she asked why and begged for him to let her go. She could hear the cold, emotionless laugh of the hated man, the man she had never met but caused her so much pain and trouble already. She could well imagine how Lucy Winters fought until her last breath, how she fought till her strength left her. Then he stabbed her. Again and again and life left Lucy Winters's body. Pouring out of her with the extreme amount of blood she lost as the seconds flew by. And what could she had been thinking about? Her husband? The man who was away on a business trip? The man who wasn't there to protect her? The man who didn't even bother to call back the police? Or her parents? Her friends? Maybe the life that was still ahead of her? Her plans and wishes that now would never come true…?

Lisbon shuddered and shoved the report back on the board. Her heart was racing and she had to concentrate on evening out her breathing. She didn't want to be that woman. Being a cop, she knew that her life could end any day. She was constantly chasing criminals, taking part in gunfights and being in danger was no stranger to her, but she never imagined her death to be that horrible. She imagined she would die from a gunshot, or a suspect would slice her throat with a knife or maybe blow up in a bombing case. But never did she imagine dying from the hands of Red John. And no matter how prepared she was to die any day, now she was terrified of it.

She would deny of course. She would deny until the very last moment. She was Teresa Lisbon, she didn't let people see her vulnerable and her team didn't need to know just how afraid she was. She would be strong and brave for them, so they could be encouraged by her. That was why she was calming her racing heart and pushing all the frightening, hopeless thoughts to the back of her mind. She would fight as well, she would follow the example of Lucy Winters and try her best to defeat Red John. And for that she would have to be the person everyone believed her to be. Strong, independent, confident, fierce and courageous.

She felt the soft pressure of a hand on her shoulder and she remembered that she wasn't alone. She turned around to find Jane's worried eyes fixed on her and she put on a brave face and smiled reassuringly at him.

"You okay?" he asked and pulled his hand back.

"Sure! Let's get some work done if we are here, shall we?" she asked and was already moving towards her office, grabbing a stack of files from VanPelt's desk as she went.

* * *

"Lisbon!"

She woke with a startle, jerking her head from her desk where she had been dozing, obviously the lack of sleep that night had just became too much. She reached up to run a hand through her messy hair and she looked in the direction of the urgent voice that woke her.

Jane was standing in the doorway of her office with an expression that was a mix of panic and excitement. He came closer, his face softening a little as he took in her confused state and he handed her the cup of coffee that he had with him.

"Thanks." She muttered, her voice still a bit groggy from sleeping. She took a huge sip and squeezed her eyes shut as she felt the hot liquid burn her mouth, tongue then her whole throat as she quickly swallowed it. She heard Jane's amused chuckle but ignored it, looking at the clock on her computer screen instead. It was well past four which meant that she had been napping for at least an hour and a half. "What's up Jane?" she finally asked from him, seeing that he seemed pretty eager to tell her something when he came in.

"He left me a new message!" he told her darkly and she didn't have to ask who was 'he'. She was out of her chair in an instant and followed Jane out into the busy bullpen. The rest of her team was informed of the possible threat first thing in the morning when they arrived and since then everyone was working full force to find any new lead, anything to keep their team leader safe. And even though nobody said a word about what the threat could mean for Lisbon, nobody mentioned that her life could be in real danger, they all did their best and fastest work, all driven by the same silent intention. Lisbon was incredibly grateful for them and for the fact that neither of them tried to pester her with questions about how she was feeling, wasn't she afraid or tried to be extremely gentle with her about the news that they got.

As Lisbon now looked around she saw her team and a couple of fellow agents all huddled together around VanPelt's desk, focused on whatever was on the screen of her computer. She regarded her co-workers' face with interest, seeing their emotions on their faces. VanPelt was sitting in her chair, biting her nails nervously and glancing at Rigsby from the corner of her eye. The tall agent was scowling angrily at the screen, his hand resting on the redhead agent's shoulder. Cho was standing next to him, his face seemingly emotionless but Lisbon could see the way his forehead wrinkled up as he furrowed his eyebrows, making him look stern. The other men around the desk were watching the screen with narrowed eyes and hateful expressions as well. Lisbon glanced at Jane who was walking beside her now and she could see his carefully built and guarded neutral expression. It was masterly made, the only thing that gave it away was the way his hands curled into fists at his side as he took step after step towards the small crowd.

As they approached Cho looked up from the screen and elbowed Rigsby in the ribs so he glanced up too, both men staring at her with distress written all over their faces.

"What is it?" she asked, her shrill tone shooting across the room. VanPelt's head snapped towards her along with the few agents' who stopped to take a look at the screen.

"It's a message from Red John." Cho told her, putting on his usual, professional face.

"It's a video and shortly after we received it Jane got a text message from a burner phone which is unavailable since then and the message sent to Jane was the only activity from it. He must have thrown it away after that…" Cho reported as Lisbon arrived next to them and everyone shifted away to give her space in front of the computer.

She took a second before she looked at the screen, preparing herself for the worst. Maybe the feed from the murder, or another killing, maybe another hostage, maybe somebody they knew… But when she finally set eyes on it she was surprised to find a rather peaceful picture. VanPelt restarted the video and Lisbon took a step closer, narrowing her eyes as she focused to make out what exactly it was. Her breath caught in her throat though when she realized that she was looking at her own living room.

For a moment there was no movement, the room was empty and dark then she saw the light coming from the lamp in the hallway and in the next second a person appeared. Lisbon didn't need a better look at the footage to know that it was her, she was watching herself. The Lisbon on the video switched on the light in the kitchen then she threw her bag and jacket on the couch before moving to turn on the lights in the living room as well.

Lisbon could recognize the clothes she had been wearing the last day and she still remembered all too well the troubled state of mind she was in while discarding her jacket and bag as she went through her apartment, doing her usual routine.

"What's in the text?" she asked and turned her eyes away from the computer. She didn't need to watch the rest to know what was coming. She left the room and took a shower where she realized what was bothering her. Then she put on some clothes, the same clothes she was wearing now and after a cup of coffee she left the apartment to come to the CBI.

Jane immediately stuck his hand out, holding his cell phone. She reached for it and turned it towards herself, reading the short message on the screen.

_'You cannot protect her from me. I will get to her unless you stop me. The tiger may only be stopped one way. With meat. It can be diverted from its original target by another. So are you willing to sacrifice somebody else?'_

Lisbon swallowed, slowly looking up at Jane. His ocean blue eyes were serious, a dark, determined flame burning in them.

"I've received another one from a different number as well." He told her in a low tone.

"You didn't tell us." Cho spoke up disapprovingly, his tone almost angry.

"I only got it a few minutes ago, you were busy watching the tape." Jane shrugged and pressed a button on his phone to bring up the next message.

_'Hetay igertay itssay niay hetay arkday ndaay aitsway orfay ishay raypay otay ppearaay ownday hereway hetay edray yeeay siay atchingway veroay hetay allenfay intersway.'_

"Okay, what is this?" Lisbon asked, still throughoutly confused after reading a message over and over again.

"The tiger sits in the dark and waits for his pray to appear down where the red eye is watching over the fallen winters." Rigsby's voice sounded from behind her and Lisbon turned her head to see the tall agent peeking at the message over her shoulder.

"How do you know that?" she asked in surprise and she glanced at the message again before handing the phone back to Jane.

"It's in pig latin…" Rigsby shrugged modestly. "We used it all the time in school to send letters during class."

"Very nice, Rigsby!" Jane said, sounding rather impressed. "I didn't think anybody would recognize it!"

The agent seemed ill at ease and when VanPelt, who in the meantime got out of her chair and stood next to them as well, patted his shoulder he blushed a deep shade of red. Lisbon made a mental note to give Rigsby more credit and sometimes compliment his work in the future.

"So what does it mean?" she asked, pushing the thought to the back of her mind and concentrating on the task at hand. Or in that moment, the message at hand.

They came to stand in a little circle, the other agents disappearing, going to do their own business. Rigsby shook his head with a grimace and Cho looked deep in thought, pressing his lips together into a thin line as he pondered about the message.

Lisbon looked up at Jane and saw him open and then close his mouth. She could see in his eyes that he already had the whole mysterious message solved, knew exactly what it meant but for a reason he paused.

"I don't know yet. I'm working on it though…" Jane said after a moment of hesitation, his lie only noticed by Lisbon. Then he put his phone back in his pants pocket, shoved his hands into the much smaller pockets of his vest and turning on his heels he walked off in the direction of Lisbon's office.

VanPelt and Cho looked at Lisbon with questioning eyes before getting back to their works while Risgsby just shrugged and walked away as well.

Lisbon scowled and followed Jane into her office, not really understanding why he would keep information from the team. But then again, he was Jane, he was probably just so hell-bent on protecting everyone from Red John again that he decided that it was best he didn't tell them. Well, he couldn't keep it from her, she saw right through his lie and she wouldn't give up until he told her everything he knew.

When she stepped into her office he was already stretched out on her couch, looking comfortable and carefree. She knew that he wasn't asleep though, he had a tiny crease between his eyebrows that gave him away.

"So?" she asked as she closed the door.

"What do you mean?" he asked, his eyes still closed.

"What does the message mean?" she asked, coming closer to him.

"I told you, I was working on it…" Jane opened one eye to shoot her a pointed look then shut it again.

"No, you told that in front of them. I don't know why would you lie, but I know you know what it means, so just spit it out already!" she said, standing next to the couch, practically towering above him, ready to pinch him if it was needed.

"I don't know what you're talking about…" Jane murmured then yelped as she kicked the couch hard. He opened his eyes and glared at her grudgingly. They shot daggers at each other for a long moment before Lisbon rolled her eyes and turned her back on him with an annoyed sigh.

Well, two can play a game!, she thought and with purposeful strides she went to the door and locked it then did the same to the other door.

"Now, now Lisbon… what will the others think?" Jane tutted playfully, watching her every movement with a craned neck as she sat down behind her desk.

"Nothing, I didn't close the blinds so they will be able to see inside. I don't even think they will notice. But you, Jane, are not going anywhere until you tell me. Or until I figure it out. Anyway, you're not getting into trouble or danger because you think you are so smart." She told him and crossed her eyes over her chest.

"But I just drank a cup of tea, what if I have to pee?" he asked, pushing himself up on his elbows.

"You'll just have to do your business in that bottle!" she pointed to the wastebasket next to her desk and Jane spotted a plastic water bottle in it. Lisbon grinned as he grimaced and shuddered at the thought. "Priorities, Jane…" she winked at him then she leaned her elbows on her desk and opened the case file on her computer. She wanted to look absorbed in her work, completely unconcerned about his presence so he wouldn't find out that honestly she was kind of desperate to know the information. She thought really hard, figuring that Red John must be referring to himself as the tiger and that he wanted to meet at night, when it was dark. But that was as far as she got, she had no idea about where he wanted them to go. Ten or more minutes had passed by and she was getting more and more frustrated. The knowledge that Jane already had the message figured out, he was just refusing to tell her made it even worse. She kept thinking, why wouldn't she be able to figure it out? Why would Patrick Jane's brain be better than hers? She knew that he was a master of riddles and tricks and all kinds of cons but she was a smart woman, a well trained agent, she knew logics and she had an imagination. She would figure it out on her own!

"Down where the red eye is watching over the fallen winters" Lisbon murmured the last part of the message quietly, trying to make sense of it. She read through the file and looked for connections, or maybe odd socks, things that didn't add up. Her eyes found the image of Lucy Winters, blood all over her chest and… "Winters!" she cried out as the pieces clicked together in her head. "The fallen winters. Our victim's name is Lucy Winters. And she's dead. She is a fallen Winters." She muttered and heard Jane move on the couch.

"Very well, Lisbon!" he said with a grin and she felt silly for the light blush that crept onto her face.

"And… and the red eye is a clue to the smiley face, it's a red face with a red eye. So he is at Lucy Winters's home?" She finished the speculation and it was more like a question than a statement. She waited with a clenched stomach for Jane to confirm her guess. When his grin widened and he slowly nodded she had to resist the urge to pump her fist up into the air with a triumphant yell of 'Yes!".

"I can't say I'm happy that you figured it out, Lisbon but I had to admit that I'm rather impressed." He said and she shook her head, not believing how smart he thought he was and how dumb he thought everyone else to be.

"Let's go tell the others!" Lisbon got out of her chair and headed for the door, already reaching for her keychain in her pocket but Jane was up from the couch and between her and the door before she could even blink.

"No!" he said firmly. "You can't tell anyone."

"Why? We need their help, Jane! We must call special forces, get their help in surrounding the house and blocking every exit. Then invade from several directions so he wouldn't get a chance at escaping." She said, trying to get past him but failing when Jane put his arms out.

"No, please Lisbon. Red John will know. He will know and disappear before we even get there, he has ears everywhere and we can't trust anyone." He said and he sounded both determined and desperate to get her to understand.

"But Jane…" she started but he cut her off immediately.

"No Lisbon, I can't risk it! Not this time!" he argued and she could see in his eyes that he was starting to lose his patience as well as his hope. She stared at him for a long moment, his pleading eyes boring into her soul, convincing her without words to do whatever he wanted her to do. Just like they always did. She groaned and squeezed her eyes shut before running a hand through her hair.

"Fine. This will have an ugly end and I'm so going to regret doing it your way…" she said at last and she watched as Jane's expression softened and his trademark, charming smile spread on his face again.

"Thanks. Now, can we go out please? I really got to pee!" he said and stepped aside, bouncing on the ball of his feet and making Lisbon laugh.

As soon as she opened the door Jane sprinted off in the direction of the restrooms and she laughed even more at his departing figure.

**And end of chapter! What do you think? I really really hope you liked it! Please leave me a review because I'm dying to know your thoughts about it! To be honest, I had thought a lot about what the message should be, how it could be kind of a riddle or a game…you know, in Red John style, so I hope I came at least close to it… :)  
I also pondered a lot about how the story should go on. I thought about leaving it sort of unfinished and doing a sequel but then I decided that I would give it the proper ending in an epilogue so as it looks like now, the story will have five chapters and an epilogue. (Also, I may change my mind or add another chapter's worth of material somewhere so it might change, but that is unlikely!) Just wanted you guys to know it…:)  
As always, thank you all for reading and reviewing! Your support and feedback means a lot to me!  
Next chapter will be up, at the latest in a week but if I manage to write quickly I may surprise you with a quicker update! :) I also want you guys to know how thankful I am for your patience, it is delighting to have such awesome readers!  
Well, this ended up as a rather long author's note. Sorry for it and thanks if you read it all! :)  
Until next chapter, xxx **


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey everyone! Thank you all so much for the feedback on last chapter! Your wonderful words make my days brighter! :)  
Now, here is the new chapter. I wanted to update sooner but sadly I had a lot of troubles with writing, I kept doubting how it would be the best to end the story. Anyways, I don't mean to bore you with my problems… Here is the penultimate chapter, I hope you will enjoy it! :)**

_Disclaimer: I don't own the show or the characters._

_Chapter 4_

Lisbon arranged the piles of papers on the top of her desk for the hundredth time then moved on to do the same with her pens she kept in a white mug on her desk. She drew in a deep sigh and glanced at the door of her office. The bullpen started to become empty but there was still no sign of Jane. He was up in his attic but he promised he would come and fetch her when it was time to go to the Winters's house.

She fidgeted around for another five minutes before the need to stand up and go and do something became just too much to bear. She finished up all her paperwork almost an hour ago so she had nothing to keep her occupied and distract her from her thoughts. She got out of her chair and not wanting to pace, she walked out into the bullpen. VanPelt had already came into her office to ask if she could call it a night and Lisbon sent her home, wishing her a good night. Rigsby must have left soon after the redhead because now Lisbon couldn't see any sign of him. Cho was still in though, bending over his desk, looking completely engrossed in the file he was reading.

Lisbon approached him, curious to know what he had found. A tall, black agent –agent Rays from vice if she remembered correctly- passed her with brisk steps, obviously in a hurry to get somewhere and Lisbon sighed, she hated slow cases and she wished they could have a case in which they would be running around, chasing suspects, following evidence and not just sitting around in front of the computer, fearing Red John and waiting for him to send a message. Waiting, waiting all the time. She hated it. She considered herself a patient person, she needed to be in her line of work and especially beside Jane, she needed patience more than anyone else but these cases drove her crazy.

"Hey Cho, what have you got there?" she asked as she stopped next to the man. He looked up from the file at her.

"Just some financials of the Winters's." he told her with a shrug, looking like he didn't really think it mattered but he was doing it anyways. As he looked at her Lisbon had a feeling Cho knew that she knew the meaning of the message. Maybe he knew it himself, he was an intelligent man. His eyes told her he had a pretty good suspicion what she and Jane were planning to do. "Trying to find a connection, a money deposit or anything suspicious…" he muttered and looked back at the file.

"Need some help?" she offered, kind of desperate for anything that would keep her busy.

"No thanks, this is the last." He shook his head.

"And did you find anything?" she asked, knowing that the answer wouldn't be positive. It was Red John, he didn't leave anything behind. He left clues when he wanted them to find it, but this time it wouldn't be in the financials.

Lisbon had a horrible guess that Lucy Winters was possibly just an unlucky girl who resembled her a little too much. She wasn't at the wrong place at the wrong time as the saying went, she looked like Lisbon too much. She involuntarily shuddered at that thought. If Jane was right, and she had to admit he almost always was, that woman died because of her. Well, not exactly because of her, more like because of looking like her.

"No, the husband had a high salary and they didn't have any debts. They liked to buy expensive paintings though." Cho said, bringing her out of her musings and he pointed at multiple highlighted lines in the file.

"Yeah, rich people tend to like that. Some say it's about showing off their wealth and they say it's about supporting art." She said with a half smile. "Go home, Cho! You deserve a good night's sleep!" she told him after a moment of silence.

"What about you, Boss?" he asked, closing the file and standing up. He looked at her with knowing eyes again and she had to break eye contact.

"I have some more… things to do." She said, hoping he wouldn't press and would just go home.

"Boss, I know something's up so you better just tell me!" he said and she had to stop herself before she shut her eyes and sighed. She could always just deny…

"Nothing is up, Cho! We will continue the search tomorrow, maybe Jane will be able to put together the meaning of that message. I won't go home and this is the safest place I can be, so don't worry about me please…" she said, looking deep into his brown eyes, hoping that it would make him believe her. She hated to lie to him though, she felt awful but she had to do her best. Jane always said that she was a terrible liar but she hoped that she could deceive Cho.

"Boss…" Cho started but he stopped and looked down. "You sure?" he asked after a second.

"Yes, I'm sure. I'll see you tomorrow!" she told him with a nod and she forced a reassuring smile on her face.

Cho put on his back jacket and with a final, severe look at her he turned and walked off in the direction of the elevator. Lisbon sighed and watched him until the doors closed after him then she turned and went to the kitchen. She still felt a weird kind of exhaustion in her system, thanks to the fact that she hadn't slept in about 36-38 hours but it was rather numb, just barely there at the back of her mind because of the excitement of the day.

She poured herself a cup of coffee, probably the eight or ninth cup that day and she sat down at the table, just staring at the air in front of her as she cradled the mug between her palms, enjoying the warmth of it.

She didn't know what exactly was Jane's plan and she had a pretty good idea that he probably just included her because she figured out the message and wouldn't have left him anyways. Or she would have gone to the Winters's house herself, so he really had no other choice. But he didn't tell her what they would do. She had an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach about not telling about it to anyone. It might have been a cop thing, feeling a bit out of it without having backup but frankly, it felt good to know that you weren't alone, that somebody had your back if things didn't turn out the planned way. And of course now she would have Jane and he would have her, but that wasn't the same because even though she trusted him, trusted him with her life really, it couldn't be the same as having a backup. He was her partner and it has always been a special partnership for many reasons and one of them, the one that worried her most in these situations when it was just the two of them, was that he wasn't a cop. He wasn't trained, he barely even knew how to hold a gun let alone fire it. So she was kind of her own backup.

She took a sip of the coffee when she was certain that it wouldn't burn her throat, her mouth was still hurting from the burn of the coffee she drank sometime during the afternoon. She resisted the urge to purr as the liquid slid down her throat and made her forget all her troubles for a second. But only just for a second, and before she could take another step she heard the sound of steps behind herself. She opened her eyes, which she didn't even notice she closed and lowered her cup to the tabletop.

As she expected, Jane entered the kitchen with a plastic bag in his hand. He smiled at her before he brought the bag to the counter and put it down.

"What's that?" she asked and stood up, trying to get a peek at whatever was inside the bag. She was curious what he had brought. Maybe it was something that would help them catch Red John?

"Just some dinner…" Jane grinned at her over his shoulder, his eyes all mocking and she knew he knew that it wasn't what she was expecting. He pulled out a brown paper bag and started to open it.

"Oh. Well I'm…" she was ready to tell him that she wasn't hungry then she realized that she actually was kind of and even though she wasn't famished, she would really appreciate something to eat. No point in lying, she paused then just went over to the cabinet and took out two plates. She brought them over to Jane and he put a huge chocolate croissant on one of the plates and passed it to her.

"Thanks!" she took it with a smile and went back to the table and sat down. She took a bite of it and once again resisted the urge to moan as the freshly baked pastry crumbled beneath her teeth. It was delightfully sweet and the chocolate cream inside was melting on her tongue.

After another bite she realized that Jane didn't join her at the table. She turned her head to look at him and saw him bending down to throw the brown bag into the trash can.

"You're not eating?" she asked with a frown, looking down at her croissant.

"I don't really have an appetite…" he told her with a sad smile as he straightened up and he came to stand next to the table. "But please, eat! You haven't eaten in God knows how long!" he urged her as he sat down opposite her. He messed around with a napkin that was left on the table for a moment then he clasped his hands together and squeezed, making his veins more visible.

"You're nervous…" she murmured, watching him with awe in her eyes. The great Patrick Jane was anxious about something, that must have been a first! It also made her squirm in her seat to see her ever composed consultant stress over something.

"You're so surprised. That's nice." He said, looking up and smirking. The emotionless mask on his face didn't move an inch, he didn't deny that he was feeling nervous but nothing on his face showed that. However, when he looked up and met her eyes she saw how really important this was for him. He tried to keep calm and act normal as if this wasn't a Red John case, as if it was just another trick he was trying to pull off. But deep inside he was just as worried and afraid as she was.

"Well, I've never really seen you nervous about anything." She shrugged, her uncomfortable thoughts that she pushed to the back of her mind, all the worries and doubts about this slowly creeping back into her mind at seeing Jane's uncertainty.

"Eat!" he reminded her and Lisbon took a bite again. Her mouth was full and there were little pieces hanging out of her mouth and she felt absolutely like a three-year-old, eating like a pig. She reached up and wiped her mouth with her fingers and as she looked up she caught Jane's grin that made her wish he wasn't sitting across her, just staring at her as she ate.

"Don't stare!" she muttered, licking chocolate cream off her thumb.

"Sorry, but you're cute when you're messy!" he chuckled and Lisbon reached out for a napkin, balled it and threw it at him. Of course the little ball of paper didn't even get close to him, it just fell on the table a few inches away from its original place, making Jane laugh out loud.

"When are we leaving?" Lisbon asked, changing the subject.

"The second you ate your dinner!" Jane told her and she instantly felt her throat begin to close and all of a sudden swallowing became harder.

She looked down at the croissant she was holding in her hand and lowered it back onto the plate.

"Then we can go…" she said and pushed her chair back.

"You didn't finish it." Jane noted, nodding towards the croissant.

"I did." She said and stood up, grabbing the plate and covering it with another one. She was a little surprised when Jane didn't say anything else he just followed her to the elevator.

They were silent on the way down to the parking lot and Lisbon dug out her car keys to open the doors. They got in and after fastening her seatbelt she looked over at Jane.

"You sure about this?" she asked, not able to entirely keep her nervousness out of her voice anymore.

"Yeah, there is no other choice." He said and there was an edge to his voice as well.

"Jane I can always call Cho, he left about twenty minutes ago, he might not even be at home yet. I could see it in his eyes that he knew. He knew we were on to something, he even asked but I told him there was nothing. He would be happy to come back and help us…"

"No Lisbon, I can't risk it." He shook his head, his tone cold and firm.

"Jane, you know Cho would never…" she started but he interrupted.

"Of course I know. But Red John might be taping our phones and flee before we got anywhere near him." he cut off her arguments and she sighed. "Let's go. Unless you don't want to come, because I'd understand. You only need to say the word. I would be the happiest if you stayed here…" he added but this time she was the one who shook her head.

"No way, I'm coming." She said and to make her point she started the engine and without further talking she drove off in the direction of their latest crime scene.

The traffic was rather light and it was getting real dark outside. Glancing at the clock in the car she saw that it was a couple of minutes past nine already. The house was in the suburbs, barely thirty minutes from downtown. They drove past the high rise buildings and the office complexes and left behind the buzz of the city to arrive in the solitude of the residential area. Nicely trimmed bushes and left out child bikes everywhere and she spotted a colorful inflatable pool in one of the gardens too.

She instinctively slowed down the car as they rolled along empty roads, only a few cars here and there. Probably late night workers getting home to their families after a long day in the city. She wished she could have that to look forward to as well. She wished that one day she would have a loving family and they would live in a house like the ones she was passing by, big and pretty and inviting and just screaming 'family'. And even though she was the tough agent Lisbon, the badass, brave cop who didn't need anyone to take care of her she longed for a family. She had her brothers and her nephews and nieces but it wasn't the same. She wanted there to be something, someone to come home to after a hard day at work. She wanted someone to take the pressure off her shoulders for just a few hours, she wanted someone to make her laugh and forget the horrible things she saw day after day. And even though she knew that as a cop she hardly had any chance at having a normal family, that it would be incredibly difficult to manage, that she wouldn't have that much time to spend with her family as she would have liked, and honestly as much as it was needed, she knew that it would be worth it. She knew that the family of a cop could never be truly safe and that they would be her weakness, she knew that if something happened to her, they would get hurt but she knew that it would all be worth it. Because at the end of the day, she would be able to come home to them and she would love them with all her heart and protect them and fight for them until her last breath.

But of course, it wouldn't hurt to survive tonight first!, she thought as she shook herself out of her daydreams. She was also kind of uncomfortable with the fact that she couldn't really keep Jane out of her little picture. She somehow always imagined him there, waiting for her at night to close his arms around her and make her forget everything. And she imagined little brown haired, sparkling blue eyes children running in light speed to meet her as soon as she entered the house, bumping into her and nearly knocking her to the ground as she welcomed them in a huge hug.

Lisbon chanced a glance at the silent man next to her, just a tiny peek from the corner of her eye, just to make sure he couldn't really read her thoughts. She certainly wouldn't be able to live with the embarrassment if he somehow got wind of her musings.

He was looking out at the houses through his window with an unreadable face and Lisbon quickly snapped her eyes and her full attention back on the deserted street. She felt stupid for actually thinking the things that ran through her mind for the last couple of minutes, she didn't need to get caught staring at him.

She concentrated on driving and soon they arrived at the street where the Winters house was situated.

"Drive past!" Jane spoke up, breaking the heavy silence when she was about to pull over in front of the house. Without any question she obliged, rolling past and around the corner.

"Is it okay if I park there?" she asked, pointing at a driveway.

"Yeah, it should be fine…" he murmured. Lisbon pulled over and stopped the car.

"So what's the plan?" she asked as she reached over to unfasten her seatbelt.

"You need to stay here in the car." He stated, looking at her seriously.

"What? Absolutely not!" she exclaimed, shaking her head.

"You have to, Lisbon!" he told her.

"Care to tell me why?" she asked with narrowed eyebrows. She let go of the seatbelt and it slipped back into its holder at her head with a snap.

"It's too dangerous. I'm going there alone."

"And how do you suppose to protect yourself from him?" she asked in an irritated tone.

"I'll manage somehow." He said with a small smile.

"Jane, it's just as dangerous for you as it is for me. I'm not going to let you go in there alone when you can't even protect yourself." She told him sternly. She moved to get out of the car but Jane's hand on her wrist stopped her.

"I have a gun, Lisbon, I'm going to be okay." He said and she stared at him with wide eyes.

"Since when do you have a gun?" she asked.

"Since I borrowed your spare one from your desk drawer."

"Stole it, you mean…" she remarked and it was obvious by her tone that she wasn't the least bit impressed with his actions.

"I have every intention to return it!" he winked at her.

"Well, you're not going to need it because I'm coming with you…" she said peremptorily, trying to chase the image of Jane standing opposite Red John with a gun in his hand out of her mind.

"You can't. Please, you have to stay here!" he tightened his grip on her wrist and his voice became a bit frantic.

"No, Jane!" she shook her head and she tried to break free from his grasp. She managed to pull her hand away, his fingers loosening around her wrist because he didn't want to hurt her. She reached for the handle of the door, checking that her gun was in place and taking a breath to calm her racing heart when his voice made her pause.

"Lisbon…You can not go in there. You can't risk your life like that. I know you're a cop and that risking your life is part of your job. I know that. But it's not the same with Red John. You and I both have seen what he is capable of, what he will do to you if you go in there. Just so he could hurt me by hurting you. I can't let him do that. I need to protect you from him!" he said darkly.

"Jane, I…" she started to tell him really patiently that he couldn't protect her. That he could barely protect himself and that as an agent of the law it was actually _her _job to protect _him_, the innocent citizen.

"No! You just can't…" he cried out and leaned towards her, gripping her hand again. "I-I need you. You're the light that leads me through the dark. You're the sweet melody in my silence. You're my lifejacket that saves me from drowning. You can't risk your life. _I_ can't risk your life because I can't go on without you..." he said, his voice dropping to a quiet murmur by the time he finished. His ocean blue eyes were boring into hers, making her see how hopeless and forlorn he was.

She opened her mouth to say something but no voice came out and she was having a hard time just breathing. She just stared at him with her lips slightly agape, searching for something, anything to say. Her eyes watered and she blinked back the tears. She needed to look tough and confident.

She was about to tell him that it was really nice of him to say those things and that she cared about him too and that was why she had to go with him, to be there for him and protect him when she felt his fingers on her wrist being replaced by something cold and hard. She heard a click, an all too familiar sound and her eyes widened as she looked down.

"I'm sorry." He whispered and she looked up from her cuffed right hand to see him pocketing the tiny keys and slipping out of the car, dashing towards the corner. She yanked at the cuffs furiously but it only cut into her skin, making a nasty red bruise. Her hand continued to be cuffed to the steering wheel. She reached across her torso and into her right jacket pocket with her left hand, feeling around for her phone and she hissed a curse when she felt that it was empty. Jane took her phone.

Lisbon looked up again and turning her head she just caught sight of Jane turning the corner through the rear window. She swallowed back the bile that rose in her throat and concentrated hard on not crying.

**That was it. I really hope you liked it! I can't wait to hear what you thought about it so please leave me a review! It would mean the world! :)  
Thank you all for reading and a huge thanks to those who take time to leave me a few words! I really appreciate it!  
Next chapter, the last chapter in this story (apart from the epilogue) will be up sometime during next week. It all depends on how fast I can write the epilogue, but I promise I will do my best! Until then, xxx**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys! Thank you all so much for the wonderful feedback on last chapter! Your alerts and reviews make my days brighter! I hope you know that I'm really grateful for you all! :)  
Here is the next chapter, the last before the epilogue. This scene was the one that gave me the original idea for this story, a part of the conversation in this was actually the very first thing in this story that I wrote down. So it feels a bit weird and kind of special to be able to finally share it with you, it feels amazing that I managed to build up the story so I got to the part that originally gave me the idea… Apart from this, this chapter makes me slightly uncertain because I had to think a lot about how I wanted it to end and I'm still not sure it's perfect. (Special thanks to ****_Lara _****for her helpfulness and her kindness!) Anyways, it's kind of a long chapter (like this author's note, sorry) and I really really hope you will like it! :) **

_Disclaimer: All the rights belong to Bruno Heller and CBS!_

_Chapter 5_

Teresa Lisbon sat in her office, at her desk, bending over a smaller stack of paperwork. Again. Her hand moved with angry, swift strokes as she filled out the document. She was staring at the blinding white paper but she didn't really see what she wrote. It was all just routine for her, done about a hundred times already. Harder ones to fill were waiting for her at somewhere around the bottom of the stack, ones that required her full attention. Reports of the events. Detailed reports.

She gripped her pen so tightly that her knuckles were white and her hand was aching. She pushed it so hard into the paper that it could have been expected to tear at any moment.

Angry tears prickled at her eyes but she stubbornly blinked them away, willing herself to stay strong and composed. Willing her still crazily racing heart to finally slow down, her fearful gasps of breathing to even out.

It must have been around the early hours of dawn but she lost count of time over the last sleepless days. She felt numb and distant and just as if she was floating there in some kind of a bubble. A bubble of sadness and betrayal and anger that she tried to burry deep inside her, conceal with the hardness of her face. But of course, she had never been a good liar, Jane always kept reminding her of that. So if anybody were there with her to see her then, they would have known from the second they set eyes on her that she was raging.

She had a cup of coffee on the edge of her desk, just beside her hand but it was untouched. And cold. She had forgotten about it a long time ago, actually she just put it there when she came into her office around midnight after interrogations and taking reports and ordering people around so things wouldn't end up in a huge mess.

She wanted to finish up at least part of this paperwork before she finally went home to catch up on some most needed sleep. Her mind wouldn't have let her get rest anyways, she just couldn't find her peace of mind. Even now as she was sitting in her office, her thoughts were so easily distracted, drawn back to those terrible moments when she didn't know how the events would end. To those dreadful moments of the night when her faith seemed to let her down, when her luck seemed to run out. So she just sat there, looking at her paperwork, filling out document after document with harsh movements and trying and failing not to think.

Nobody has bothered her since she came in, the few people who were in the building knew better than to interrupt her solitude.

She realized she got to the bottom of the page and she had been staring at the file for long minutes now with a startle. She grimaced and turned the page to look over her work. She might be doing this entirely by heart, her brain on autopilot but she didn't want to make any mistakes. She never made mistakes. Not in her job. Her eyes ran over the file, her brows furrowed in concentration when she sensed it.

Eyes fixed on her, watching her scrutinizingly. She didn't know who it was but she willed them to go on, leave her alone. Then she heard the shuffling of foot on the floor and without needing to glance up she knew who it was. She knew who was the only person in the whole building dumb enough to break her solitude.

Patrick Jane.

Her stomach clenched anxiously as loathed butterflies fluttered their wings and she felt a dull ache settle on her chest. Or more like, return in her chest. She tried hard not to think about the words he said to her, the words that threw her so off guard that he managed to slip away from her. Words which he used to trick her. Words that caused her carefully build up wall crumble and her alertness and agility to blunt.  
And that made her feel embarrassed. The thought that he only needed a couple of words to do that to her. And all because of her repressed emotions towards him. It looked like she didn't hide it well enough though if he used them against her. She never thought he would go so low, to use her own affection for him against her. She hated herself for it as well, she hated being weak and hated that she was an open book to him. Of course, it must have been easy for him to find her weakness.  
But the worst of all was hearing those words, the words that made her breathless and then realize that they were only to distract her. That they were only lies. A part of a trick. And then came the feeling of betrayal, because even in her worst nightmares she would never have imagined that Jane would do something like that. Play with her emotions like that just to trick her. Just to get to Red John. She thought their friendship, their partnership was more important than that. She thought that he trusted her with all things connected to Red John, she hoped that he cared about her more than to just pull another one of his cons on her.

Apparently she was wrong. And she felt weak and flushed because Jane knew how she felt about him and how was she even supposed to look him in the eye now? How could she even think about him and not feel the embarrassment curse through her whole body? And that was why she tried not to think about him and his words.

But now here he was, in her office, watching her silently. She knew what would come next. He would say he is sorry and he would list a dozen excuses and try to make it up to her somehow. But all that would do nothing to her pride or to the blade deep in her heart. And she would forgive him after a while, as she always did and they would never ever talk about those words again. Only she would think about them every night as she lay in the darkness of her bedroom, alone and sad. She would play them over and over again in her mind and curse herself for believing them, for falling for them. Falling for the trick that Patrick Jane was.

And she was so damn angry at him right now, that she didn't want to hear anything he had to say. She could barely tolerate the thought of being in the same room as him. As she felt his eyes on her, she couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking. Was he feeling sorry for her? Poor little Teresa with a hopeless crush on the great Patrick Jane. Was he thinking of a way to be gentle with her? Was he feeling smug that he was her weakness?  
She knew that he was standing there, waiting for her to look up and meet his eyes. And she knew that if she would look up now, she would see it all sparkling there in his ocean blue eyes. The pity and the remorse and she wanted none of it. It would just make her even worse. So she kept her eyes on her paperwork even as she felt his bore a hole into the top of her head.

And she could see him in her mind, standing there in his three piece suit and with his freaking golden curls, looking at her with crystal eyes and she could hear as he took one more step closer and opened his mouth to finally speak. So she cut him off before he could even begin.

"Get out!" her voice was cold and firm and she was grateful for it. It was more confident than she expected.

"Lisbon…" he started, trying anyway.

"I said… Get. Out." She hissed and gritted her teeth. She wanted to scream at him but she wouldn't let herself break.

"Not until you let me apologize…" he stated stubbornly and he came even closer, now standing directly next to the chair in front of her desk.

"God, I don't care!" she snapped, at last looking up and for the first time since she knew him, praying that he would read her face now and see just how much she wanted him to leave her alone.

"Please just look me in the eye and listen to me!" he asked in a soft voice, trying to convince her. She watched as he put on his best puppy face but decided that this time it wouldn't work on her.

"Already did that today and see where it got me?" she muttered, sarcasm lacing her voice as she waved her hand around, motioning for her paperwork. She was not going to show him just how shaken up she was.

"Huh… you're not going to let me get away with it that easily are you?" he chuckled charmingly, but she could see from the corner of her eye that he felt at least a bit awkward.

"You cuffed me to my car, Jane! What have you expected?" she asked from him icily, hiding her anger behind a mask of stone. She wouldn't make it easy for him, she was furious and she wouldn't forgive him just like that. He would certainly not be able to charm his way through his apology. She wasn't even sure she wanted to hear an apology since she was almost sure that it wouldn't be honest.

"Look, I assure you I had the best intentions and plenty of reason for doing it…" he sighed, extending his arms with his palms towards her. An act of surrender to show her that he was no threat and that he didn't mean any harm. Well, too late now, Jane!, she thought.

"Oh really?" she asked with an unmistakable edge to her voice. Her question was more like just a quip, she didn't care about his reasons and explanations. She was fed up with his shit.

"Yeah, first of all uh,…" he paused, thinking but she didn't let him try. No matter what he would come up with, it wouldn't make her feel better.

"Oh save it!" she shook her head, her voice exasperated. She was so tired. Just so tired. She wouldn't let him see her this weak, she wouldn't embarrass herself more in front of Jane but she knew that she would reach the edge of her tolerance soon. She could barely take it anymore…

"Teresa…" his voice now was pleading and she thought she caught the hint of real sorrow in it but she wouldn't let it break through her anger.

"Just get the hell out of here! Go home get some sleep, that's what I'll do after I finish with this bunch of paperwork I have to file after your little stunt…" she growled and pulled the next document in front of her and picked up her pen again. She started writing, expecting to hear his retreating steps but there was no sound. She could still sense his presence in her office but she refused to look up. She felt his eyes watching her again and heard his soft sigh. He sounded defeated and guilty but she didn't spare him another glance.

Lisbon tried her best to focus on the work in front of her but she found that the knowledge that Jane was still there, watching her, waiting for her to give in to his apology was rather distracting. Her pen paused over the next line as she involuntarily thought about everything that happened that night. It all played again in her head and she could see it in her mind's eye as clear as she was there again. She felt the unbearable nervousness, the hopelessness and the wave of betrayal. Then the waiting. Just sitting there in her car, alone and afraid and worried with nothing she could do but pray. Pray that it would all turn out fine.

Then she remembered Cho finding her there and uncuffing her without a word but with a knowing look on his face. She remembered how she trembled like a leaf and how he generously turned a blind eye on her ungraceful stuttering and completely out of character behavior. She could see the red and blue flashing lights coming from the Winters's house as several cruisers parked on the street, uniforms wandering across the pavement and coming in and out of the house, looking busy. She remembered spotting the ambulance between two cruisers and the way her throat tightened and her heart fluttered as they approached. She looked at Cho but he kept his eyes on the scene ahead, giving away nothing about what might await her. She recalled how her eyes kept searching furiously for the familiar golden curls and how she became even more agitated when she couldn't see him anywhere.

And she could still hear Cho's stern, calm voice as he gave his statement, telling her what she couldn't see, happened while she was in her car.

_Cho knew something was off with Jane and Lisbon, the pair had been secretive and nervous all afternoon, even more than they usually are. He had a good guess that they were planning something and their plan didn't include the rest of the team. His suspicions intensified when Lisbon encouraged VanPelt to go home. Not long after the redhead left Rigsby muttered a good night and disappeared as well. But Cho stayed, pulling another stack of files towards himself to keep him occupied while he was waiting for something to happen, waiting for Lisbon and Jane to get on the move. When Lisbon came out of her office and tried to send him home he became certain that it wasn't just his imagination, he could see it in his Boss's eyes that she was keeping the truth from him. But he also saw how much she hoped that he wouldn't see through her lie so he played his part and without pressuring her further he made his way to the elevator, feeling Lisbon's eyes on his back all the way. _

_He formed his new plan on the ride down and when he arrived in the parking garage he got into his car and waited. He didn't have to wait long until Jane and Lisbon appeared. He watched as they got to her car without a word and got in. Lisbon said something, probably trying to reason with Jane but in the end the consultant must have won the argument because in the next minute Lisbon started the engine and soon they drove off._

_Cho started his car as well and from a reasonable distance he followed them. He knew Jane and was well aware of the fact that he had to be careful if he didn't want to be noticed. He was lucky though because he soon figured out where they might be headed. Once he suspected that they were going to the last victim's home he could fall behind more without being afraid to lose them. That way it was harder for Lisbon and Jane to notice him._

_'__**The tiger sits in the dark and waits for his pray to appear down where the red eye is watching over the fallen winters**__' _

_The message Red John had left came to his mind and he understood why Lisbon would drive to the Winters's house. The red eye is the trademark bloody smiley and the fallen winters is Lucy Winters. He felt stupid for not realizing it earlier though he was pretty sure Jane wouldn't have let him come with them anyway… However, Cho was a bit disappointed in Lisbon. He knew his boss to be a reliable and responsible woman and even though Jane's reckless and secretive behavior didn't surprise him at all, he was shocked to see that the consultant managed to convince Lisbon not to call for backup and to not even trust her own team with the revelation they made. _

_He soon shooed that thought away, Lisbon was just trying to keep Jane safe, she was just doing her job and Cho had to trust her and have her back without knowing exactly what was said between her and Jane. She must have had her reason for not telling them the plan and he had to respect her decision and be there in case they needed his help._

_He caught up with them once they were out of the town, just rolling along the streets. He wondered why Lisbon slowed down so much be he still kept his distance, not wanting to risk getting caught following them. He stopped a corner away from the Winters house, pulling over at a driveway to make it look like he was returning home if they somehow spotted him. _

_He regarded Lisbon's car as it slowed even more when they got to the victim's house then she unexpectedly drove onwards then turned the corner. Precaution, he realized. That seemed like something Jane would think of._

_He sat in his car, knowing they would have to get back to the Winters house somehow. When several minutes passed by and there was still no movement from the direction Lisbon's car disappeared, Cho started worrying that maybe something had happened, that maybe he was wrong. He decided that he would wait for another few minutes and if still nothing had happened he would get out and see what was going on for himself. But then he caught a slight movement and when he watched closely he saw Jane moving in the shadows near the house. Cho didn't take his eyes off the man as Jane approached the front door and after a mere second of hesitation he entered the house. Then Cho glanced back at the corner and waited for Lisbon to appear too. Which never happened. An uneasy feeling settled in the agent's gut and he got out of the car with a slight frown. He didn't know what happened just around the corner but he was sure that Lisbon wouldn't have let Jane go in there alone. He also knew from the crime scene investigation that there was no other door to the house apart from the terrace door which opened only from the inside. So Lisbon couldn't have used a back door to get in. That meant that something was wrong but as he rushed across finely mowed lawns he decided that he must go after Jane first then after the consultant was safe he would look for Lisbon. He knew that his boss would want him to follow Jane. If his instincts were right Red John may have been in that house and that put Jane in a bigger danger than he could have realized._

_Cho climbed the front steps of the mansion and drew his weapon, holding it readily in his right hand. He moved quietly and swiftly like a shadow as he opened the door and slipped inside. He stopped in the hall and looked around, holding his breath so he would hear the smallest sound. For a moment there was nothing then he could hear the faint sound of voices coming from a room to his left. As he paid attention he heard that it was two men talking. He took cautious steps along the corridor and with practiced ease he turned into the first room to his left, the living room. The sounds came from the adjacent kitchen and Cho saw dim light filtering out through the arch that led to that room. He quickly scanned the living room, making sure that it was all 'clean' while slinking towards the kitchen.  
He stopped just beside the arch, flattening on the wall as he got ready. The conversation didn't falter for a moment and if he didn't know better, he would have thought that what he heard was a friendly talk between old pals. _

_Cho gripped his gun harder, his finger on the trigger as he recalled the layout of the kitchen. He knew that there was a counter in the middle of the kitchen and there were several high windows. The dining room was just across a short corridor and that the glass terrace door opened from there. He knew that if he entered the kitchen there was nowhere to hide for him, nothing to duck behind. If somehow Red John suspected that he was there, if he had a gun trained on the arch he could shoot Cho in the instant he entered. So he had to be swift and precise. _

_Cho swallowed and gathered all his courage. He was a damn good cop and he wasn't about to be afraid! He had been in worse situations and Lisbon would surely kill him if he didn't save Jane, so he really had no other choice. _

_Another big breath and he launched forward, almost jumping into the kitchen with his gun in his hand. He immediately saw a man sitting at one of the high stools next to the counter, dressed in all black with a red mask covering the better part of his face, only leaving his mouth visible. He was holding a cup in his hand, looking for all the world like he was at home._

_"Agent Cho! Well, that is quite a surprise… I was expecting Agent Lisbon maybe, but not you." The man told him with an amused smirk, his voice soft as silk and deep. He put his cup down and leaned towards Cho conspiratorially. "Truth be told, I would have been happier to see Teresa here. She's such a lovely sight, you have to admit." He said and Cho felt his temper rise. This man was pissing him off with his perfect peacefulness. And where was Jane, anyway? He had heard his voice just a moment ago but as his eyes swept across the room he couldn't see him anywhere. _

_Then Cho felt two hands grabbing his arms. They weren't too strong, but they were determined and took Cho by surprise since he was only paying attention to Red John. Cho's jaw tightened when he realized Jane had been hiding right next to the wall that was why he couldn't see him. _

_Jane knocked the gun to the floor and kicked it away while he cuffed Cho's hands together in front of his body and the agent almost let out a furious growl when he realized that Jane used his own handcuffs against him._

_"Jane! What the hell?" he hissed as he struggled to break free. Of course there was no use, they were strong, police cuffs. _

_"I'm sorry Cho!" he heard Jane's murmur and for his credit, Jane did sound apologetic. Cho was about to turn and fight Jane, even with his cuffed hands he would have been able to knock him unconscious but he suddenly felt the barrel of a gun pressing into his temple and he wondered where the consultant got a weapon from. _

_"Very good, Patrick! I knew you would see reason!" the man nodded, looking pleased._

_"I have him. Now what? Should I just kill him?" Cho heard Jane's steady, cool voice from behind him._

_"Well, yes you could do that. But do you want to, Patrick?" the man asked with a mischievous smirk._

_"I…uh, yes." Jane said, but for the first time since Cho knew him, he sounded absolutely unsure._

_"I don't think so. Why would you lie, Patrick?" Red John swayed his head as he hopped off the stool. He took only one step towards them and regarded them through his mask._

_"I think you want to let Agent Cho go. But unfortunately we cannot do that. You know, with him being a cop and all… He would just alert others. So I think we should tie Agent Cho up, maybe knock him out or something… And we should leave him a reminder that we don't like when they play us. Right Patrick? Or at least, I don't like it… So maybe we should leave a reminder to everyone not to screw with me again. Not to be stupid enough to search for me again." Red John stated, his warm, friendly voice growing menacing and cold word by word. It was meant for Cho but the killer was looking straight into Jane's eyes, the message clear in them. The man saw right through Jane's pretence. _

_Cho wasn't afraid of him, he didn't get frightened by his threat of bodily harm. Thanks to his training he managed to assess the situation and try to work out an escape plan. He knew that once he was unconscious Red John would probably kill Jane. Well, first he would torture him somehow, play with him like a cat plays with the mouse but in the end Jane would end up dead. And Cho didn't want his friend to die, no matter how many times Jane tricked him and teased him and went behind his back-just like this time- Cho considered him a friend and didn't want him dead._

_"Okay, that is enough. You wanted someone in exchange of Lisbon. I'm here, so let me let Cho go…" he heard Jane's voice and felt the tremble of his hands as it pressed the gun against his head, instantly noting that the consultant changed tactics when he realized that his first approach wouldn't work out. Instead of trying to convince the serial killer that he was no threat, that he could be tamed and considered a friend, Jane let Red John know what he was here for._

_"No, Patrick, now that you both are here I shall enjoy that. Two dead friends may open Teresa's eyes. I don't like it that she thinks I can't get to her… I hope when she sees your bodies she will get all mad and try to fight me. I just love it when they fight!" the man said, a freaky, sadistic smirk spreading on his face and Cho felt the urge to throw up._

_"NO!" Jane yelled and Cho winced at the loud sound just behind his ear. "You said you would leave her alone if I came." Jane growled and Cho felt the gun pull away slightly from his head, knowing that this was the perfect moment to act._

_He threw his head back with full force, feeling his teeth clatter together as the back of his head crashed into Jane's forehead. He heard the pained yelp of the consultant and felt the gun being pulled away from his head. He spun and with his cuffed hands grabbed the gun and twisted Jane's arm so he let go of the weapon. And with the same lilt he turned back and aimed the gun at the serial killer. _

_Red John must have seen the move coming because by the time Cho turned back he was already halfway through the corridor to the dining room. Cho pulled the trigger without a second's hesitation and heard the cry of the man as the bullet grazed him. Then he heard the sound of glass shattering and he ran after the man. When he got to the dining room, the door leading to the terrace was broken and he saw a dark form disappearing in the backyard. Cho jumped out onto the terrace and fired another shot after the man, and then another as he chased him. The grievous scream that echoed across the garden told Cho that at least one of his bullets hit the serial killer and he saw that the man slowed down considerably, running with a limp to his steps. Still, he had a head start and he jumped between two houses and into a huge fence. Cho followed, straining his legs to be faster but as he sprinted between two tall bushes and burst out on the street he lost sight of him. He looked from side to side, panting hard and still clutching the gun in his hands but he couldn't see anyone._

_"Damn it!" he cursed, leaning on his knees to catch his breath. "God damn it!" he hissed and he straightened up to go and check on Jane then look for Lisbon. The sooner they got to her, the sooner she would be safe. That was when he caught sight of the shadow creeping around the corner and he instantly knew it was Red John. Cho carefully took a few steps after him then raised his gun and prayed whatever higher powers there were to give him luck. Then he aimed at the man and fired until his clip was empty. He felt a wave of victory rush through him when he saw the form dropping to the ground and he took off, running towards him. _

_When he got closer he saw that the man was gasping for air, clutching his side, blood seeping through his clothes. There was also a growing patch of red on his thigh but despite the pain that must have been surging through his body, Red John was grinning. A maniac, mad smirk that made Cho shudder. _

_"This… is…not over. You… can't win." The man breathed and his dark eyes flashed crazily._

_"It is over." Cho growled and was about to reach for his cuffs when he realized that his own hands were still cuffed with them. He gritted his teeth and awkwardly reached into his pocket for his phone. His eyes all the while kept on Red John, he called dispatch and asked for backup. "Don't you dare move, or I will send a bullet through your skull!" he warned the man as he hang up._

_In less than ten minutes uniforms and ambulances arrived and Red John was taken into custody and Cho went to search for Lisbon._

Lisbon knew all too well what happened after this. The doctors had taken care of Red John's wounds and he had been taken to a hospital with cops guarding his room. Jane had fought to go with him but Cho had told him that he needed to give a statement first. The blond man had huffed and puffed but allowed Cho to drive him back to the CBI since Lisbon had already left the scene. She had been one of the agents who escorted the ambulance back to the hospital. Once there, Lisbon didn't get the chance to talk to the killer, but the doctors promised to let her know when she could interrogate him.

If only she hadn't given up so easily!, she thought as she finished filling out another document.

Red John had escaped from his room. Nobody knew how, but it was sure that he had some help. Jane had been furious, or Cho had said so, he stormed out and didn't come back. Until now…

Lisbon glanced up at her consultant, still standing there and watching her and looking absolutely miserable but she didn't want to forgive him so quickly. She eyed the little band aid on his forehead and it dawned on her just how easily he could have died tonight. He could have died, trying to save her and he still didn't get his revenge. He still couldn't find his peace because Red John got away again. Like he always did. Only this time, it was so close, so damn close!

She understood why he had been furious, she was too. But she was also angry at him, angry for hurting her pride, angry for making her feel embarrassed, angry for playing her.

She grabbed the finished paperwork and stood up to put it into an empty folder. She had to break the stillness of the room because she could barely take it anymore. His eyes followed her every movement and it drove her crazy that he looked like a freaking puppy who waited for forgiveness. Finally her resolve broke and she lowered the folder back on her desk, not letting go of the papers as she bowed her head resignedly.

"Was any of it real?" she asked in a quiet murmur, her voice so weak that she was surprised he even heard it. But he did. She could hear him shift and take a step closer and she felt the barely there, tender pressure of his hand on her shoulder.

"All of it." He admitted, instantly understanding what she was talking about, and all the air left her lungs. "Every single word came from the depth of my heart and even though it was the worst possible way to tell you I don't regret being honest." Jane continued and his hand on her shoulder tightened just the slightest bit, urging her to turn and look at him.

Lisbon reluctantly turned to him and met his serious eyes, sparkling with remorse and regret and pure honesty. Her legs felt weak as she considered the idea. What if he had been honest with her? What if he said true words to trick her? What if he showed her his real feelings, knowing it would throw her off guard?

She played with the idea in her head for a while, his words replaying in her mind.

_'I-I need you. You're the light that leads me through the dark. You're the sweet melody in my silence. You're my lifejacket that saves me from drowning. You can't risk your life. I can't risk your life because I can't go on without you...'_

"You… meant those… those things you said?" she asked again, feeling uncertain and confused.

"Yes, Teresa. I did. I can't go on without you. It took me long to realize, too long, I admit. But now I know." he said and a tiny smile graced his features, lighting up his face but it faded almost immediately. "But unfortunately, Red John knows it as well. He knows you are my hugest weakness and he will do whatever he can to use it against me. So I'm sorry… But I can't… I can't risk you, we can't… I…" Jane continued, then stammered and he looked away. If Lisbon didn't know any better she would have swore that she saw his cheeks redden a bit. But Patrick Jane never blushed, it couldn't have been that!

"Oh, Jane…" she whispered. She brought her hands up and around his neck, pulling him in for an embrace.

"At least you know how I feel!" he murmured into her hair as he held her close and Lisbon felt like crying.

Was it really possible? That Patrick Jane cared about her so much that he believed he can't go on without her? That maybe, maybe he loved her? It seemed almost surreal to entertain such an idea.

"But you have to understand." He said as they pulled back. "As long as Red John is out there and alive, I can't have the sort of relationship or even friendship I would like to have. He is there, hovering over my every thought, my every happiness, darkening everything in my life. And I can't risk you… So please, understand why I can't promise you or offer you anything. Anything but honesty." He said and he took two slow steps back.

"I'm still angry at you for cuffing me to my car." She told him with a small pout, making him grin.

"I know. I'm sorry." He said, his eyes sparkling playfully again.

"Don't you dare smile!" she narrowed her eyes as she returned behind her desk and plopped down into her chair.

"I don't." he denied but he couldn't really keep a straight face, his lips were curling suspiciously upwards every time he tried to look grave.

"Jane!" she shook her head, but she had to admit that a part of the weight was lifted from her chest.

She watched as he smiled at her briefly and waved at her before disappearing into the darkness of the bullpen.

**And this was it. What do you think guys? I truly hope you liked it and I'm dying to know your opinion about it! Please leave me a review, no matter if it's a couple of words or a few sentences, or even more… Your words inspire me and make me happy! :)  
I hope you guys liked the part from Cho's POV, it was sort of a new thing for me and it wasn't really planned I just decided it might be an interesting idea while writing the chapter!  
Thank you all for reading and the biggest thanks goes out to those of you who take the time to review! It means the world to me! :)  
The epilogue if in process, half-written actually, so it will be up sometime during next week! I promise I will do my best to upload it soon! Until then, xxx**


	6. Epilogue

**Hey guys! First of all, thank you all for the amazing feedback, all the reviews and the alerts on last chapter! They make me so happy, I can't even express it with words! Thanks to every single one of you who followed this story or put it in favorites and everyone, both anonymus and signed in, who left me a review! I hope you know that your support means everything to me and that without you guys this story wouldn't have happened! It's incredible to know that there are people out there who enjoy reading what I write, so thank you for that! I feel absolutely honored for your attention… :)  
Now, this is the last chapter, the epilogue which somehow ended up as long as two chapters usually are. I really wanted to upload it sooner and I thought I would be able to, but ****it got a bit out of hand! **I don't know how it happened, I just couldn't stop. I wanted to have a real ending, I wanted to close every storyline and the chapter just kept being longer and longer and the ideas just came into my head and I wanted to write them down. I almost split this chapter into two but I changed my mind about it, and decided to give you an extra long epilogue instead.  
So here it is! I hope you guys won't mind the length and that you will enjoy it! 

_Disclaimer: No, I still don't own it…_

_Epilogue_

**Two months later**

Lisbon shifted awkwardly in her seat as she regarded the crying woman sitting across her on a deep red couch. Jane was standing a few feet behind the couch with his hands in his vest pocket, looking out the huge windows to his right, but Lisbon knew that he was listening.

"Miss Travers, I'm truly sorry for your loss!" she said softly, averting her eyes and fixing them on the floor. She hated this part, knocking on a door of a stranger and destroying their whole world just with a sentence. She hated seeing the heart wrenching pain in their eyes, she hated that she wasn't able to help to ease that pain. That the only thing she could offer were words and the promise that she would catch whoever did it and hope that she could keep her promise.

"I can't believe he's dead. I'm… I…uh… I was…I was in love with him!" the woman, Jenny Travers sobbed, hiding her face in her hands.

Lisbon's eyes widened slightly, she didn't know that the victim had such a relationship with this woman. All she knew that they were business partners for five years.

"I'm sorry." She murmured the only thing that came to her mind.

"I should have… he didn't even know it…. I wanted to…" Jenny sniffled and hiccupped wildly, making her rambling almost incomprehensible.

"I'm sure he knew." Jane's low, warm voice interrupted her moans and the woman looked up in surprise, turning her head so she could see him. The consultant came around the couch and squatted down next to her, resting a comforting hand on her knee.

"I didn't even have the chance to… to tell him how I feel!" the woman whispered, her tone broken and shaky. Lisbon's eyes found Jane and she regarded him with a knot in her throat. He also glanced at her, just a subtle peek over his shoulders, hoping to go unnoticed by Lisbon but since she was already watching him, their eyes met briefly. Both of them looked away after a second, breaking the connection that created vibrating tension between them. Lisbon stared at the bookcase next to the window instead, fighting with the thoughts that wanted to seep into her mind. Thoughts of a late night in her office. Thoughts of his words, telling her he needed her, telling her he couldn't go on without her. She tried to clear her mind and concentrate on her job.

"Miss Travers, could you think of anyone who might have wanted to hurt Jake?" she asked tentatively and the woman shook her head immediately.

"No!" she said in an airy tone, tears still streaming down her cheeks. "No, he was a good man. A kind, nice guy, a really good friend."

"Didn't he have any enemies? Maybe business rivals?" Lisbon asked, loathing the protocol questions.

"No, everybody liked him. And really we didn't have any opponents because we worked together with other companies. Nobody ever said a bad word about him!"

"How did the two of you meet?" Jane asked, standing up and taking a couple of steps so he was standing beside Lisbon now. She didn't look at him, just kept her eyes on the woman even though his closeness sent uncomfortable and unusual tingles all through her body.

"We… we've met in college. We became friends in the year of graduation, we used to study together. I think I fell in love with him quickly but I kept denying it. Even to myself. And now I will never have the chance to tell him!" Jenny's eyes became unfocused and blurred again as crying overtook her once more.

Lisbon looked at Jane and their eyes met, this time the connection lacking any awkwardness as Lisbon searched for some support in her consultant's eyes. Jane flashed her a half smile, reassuring and encouraging and that was all Lisbon needed. Luckily they were still able to work perfectly in sync despite their recent difficulties. Even though they avoided being alone and talking about _that night_, or more like Jane avoided Lisbon so she didn't push it and that often caused all kinds of clumsiness around each other, they managed to maintain their harmony while working a case.

Lisbon knew that she would probably be able to get more information out of this woman once she had some time to digest the horrible news but as insensitive as that sounded, she really had an investigation to lead, a murderer to catch. Lisbon already knew that the victim's parents were dead and that he wasn't married so that meant that Jenny Travers was the best source of information she had right now.

"Do you know if he had a girlfriend?" she asked when the woman was a bit more composed again.

"No. He had a few dates with this girl, Darcy…but it didn't work out. He said she was weird, but he was quite picky in that way…" Jenny shrugged and a hint of a smile appeared on her face. "He once said I was the only woman he could tolerate!"

"You had any arguments lately?" Jane asked abruptly, making Lisbon close her mouth and swallow her next question.

"What? No…" the woman said, narrowing her eyebrows.

"Really? Then pardon me for asking, but why do you seem so guilty?" Jane asked and Jenny's mouth fell open.

"I'm not guilty!" she snapped, crossing her eyes over her chest.

"Is that so? It rather looks so for me… It's enough to take a look at you now. You're all defensive, crossed arms and legs, leaning back on that couch to be farther from us. What did you do? Did you kill him? Or you just know who did it? What are you hiding from us?" Jane asked, stepping closer to the woman, causing her to lean even further into the cushions.

"Jane…" she murmured in a warning tone. She knew that this was Jane's way of breaking her, of getting a read on her to find out if she was any way connected to the victim's death but he was starting to cross the line.

"Get away from me! Who do you think you are? You come here, tell me my best friend is dead and now you accuse me of murdering him. How could I kill him? I was in love with him!" the woman exclaimed, now completely losing her cool. Her eyes became teary again and she sniffled, standing up and striding to the small fireplace to get a tissue from the box on the mantelpiece. She blew her nose then wiped at her cheeks, trying to get rid of the tears. Her eyes were puffy and red and her lower lip was still trembling though. "I was in love with him…" she breathed almost inaudibly.

"We're very sorry. I also apologize for my colleague's behavior, it was rude and uncalled for. We will leave now and if you have anything that you think might help, please don't hesitate to contact me!" Lisbon said after standing up and she handed the slightly shaking woman a business card with her phone number. She met the woman's sad brown eyes, full of grief and hopelessness and she wished she could make it all better. But she knew that nothing she did or said would make it better now. Only time would be able to help and heal the aching wound on her heart now. "I promise, we will do our best to catch whoever is responsible for Jake's death!" she told her simply, knowing these were the only words she could offer now.

She glared at Jane meaningfully, motioning to the door with her eyes then heading out herself, knowing he would follow. She only stopped when she was next to her car, opening it and getting inside. She sighed and looked at Jane while fastening her seatbelt. She wasn't angry at him, she was used to his ways but that didn't stop her from feeling bad for the woman inside whose whole life had just been turned upside down and top of all that she had been accused of killing the man she loved.

"Poor woman!" Jane sighed, swaying his head disapprovingly as if he had just heard the news in Tv.

"Yeah." She agreed, thinking that 'poor' was kind of an understatement. She started the car, wondering what Jenny would do now. She lost her best friend, her business partner, the man she loved… The woman's broken face was still clear in her mind, how she whimpered that she couldn't even tell him how she felt. "Jane?" she asked as something came to her mind. She knew that in the light of recent, well not so recent but two-months-old, events and confessions this whole case just became a bit of a walking on thin ice for them but she knew they couldn't avoid the subject forever. Jane was her best friend and she didn't want that awkward tension between them, she would rather forget his words than lose her friend.

"Yes Lisbon?" he asked absently, pulling at his seatbelt to make it looser.

"You told her, that you are sure Jake knew that she loved him." she reminded him, purposefully fixing her gaze on the road in front of her.

"I did? Yes, I could have said that…" he nodded, playing with a piece of paper he dug out of the glove compartment.

"And, did you… mean it?" she asked, involuntarily tensing and shrinking in her seat.

"Yeah, I mean I'm sure he was an intelligent man, he must have noticed the signs. So if he didn't show that he knew that only meant that he didn't reciprocate her feelings." Jane stated, his voice rather unemotional and Lisbon swallowed. Yeah, she shouldn't have brought it up. Now she felt flushed and embarrassed but she also felt like she should defend the woman's pride.

"That is kind of mean, I don't think that it must mean he didn't feel anything towards her." She said, hating that they were arguing about this, hated that she felt like there was too much said in subtext.

"Well I think if a man has feelings for a woman and knows that she feels the same way, he takes measures, takes steps." Jane said, sounding way too unbothered for Lisbon's liking. She bit the inside of her cheek and flexed her fingers over the steering wheel tightly. There was no use in being stubborn about proving her right, she didn't want to sound desperate about something they weren't even talking about.

"I still think it's sad she couldn't tell him that she loved him. She deserved at least a chance, they deserved a chance…" she muttered then fell quiet. She could feel his eyes on her but she didn't take her eyes off the road, deciding that ignoring him would be the best now.

They rode in silence the rest of the way back to the CBI and when they arrived, after an elevator ride filled with tension and nerves, Jane instantly went to his couch, lay down and turned towards the back of the couch. Lisbon walked past him, repressing her sigh and blinking back tears and went into her office, collapsing in her chair and wishing for a resolution of this nerve wracking, heartbreaking situation. Just let it end!, she thought.

* * *

"Okay, on my count then!" Lisbon whispered, looking around and searching for the eye of each and every person of the team. They were waiting outside of the killer's house, some men hidden in bushes, some pressed to the walls and a few, including her own team, Risgby, VanPelt and Cho, just outside the front door with her, all of them in bulletproof vests and armed with guns. She caught sight of Jane lurking a couple of feet away near the car, far from the suspected line of fire. She always preferred him out of danger on busts and luckily it was one thing they agreed on, he didn't want to be too close to the attack either.

She tore her eyes away from Jane, knowing that thinking of him was a distraction she didn't needed right now, and looked at Cho who nodded at her reassuringly.

"One." She murmured, raising her gun a bit and knowing rather than seeing that the others did the

same. "Two." She glanced at the others once more and saw that Cho lowered his hand from the butt of his gun to ready it on the doorknob. "Three!" she yelled and moved instantly as the door was opened. "CBI! Don't move!" she shouted as she briskly walked into the house.

She heard that her team was yelling 'CBI!' as well and they split up to clear the rooms. She knew that there was still a man behind her, Agent Grant if she remembered his name correctly, having her back while she walked along the corridor, checking doors as she passed. As she got to the living room, she motioned for Grant to go in, see if there was anyone inside and that was when she heard the first yell of 'Clear!'. She recognized Risgby's voice and then the following as VanPelt's. She continued towards the kitchen with her raised gun in front of her, ready to shoot if she had to. The kitchen was a vast, clear area with wooden chairs and a small, oak table in the middle.

When she saw that it was empty she started to ascend the stairs to her right, going slowly, carefully. She got to the first floor and started down the dark corridor. The first door was locked but before she could think about kicking it down a narrow stream of light caught her eye. It was coming from a door which was slightly open, there was barely a gap between the frame and the door but it was enough for the light to come out.

Her cop senses kicked in and she approached the door swiftly but without making any sound. Her heart was beating wildly, adrenaline cursing through her veins as she stopped in front of the door and raised her free hand to put it on the door. She took a deep breath then pushed the door open, hiding behind the wall for a second in case someone would shoot. When there was no shot she rushed into the room, her gun still in hand.

She instantly saw the two people in the room, right next to the open window, obviously attempting to escape. They spun around when she entered though, or more like one spun and the other was forced, Lisbon noted as she saw the gun pressed to one of their temple. It was two women and Lisbon's eyes widened when she recognized Jenny Travers as the one with the gun at her temple.

"Jenny, you all right?" she asked instantly, looking into the panicked eyes of the woman, ignoring the other one for a moment.

"Yeah, I'm… fine." Jenny sniffled and struggled a bit, trying to get free, but only making the other woman grip her harder.

"Stay still!" the woman ordered and Lisbon finally turned her gaze on her.

"Miss Roberts… please let her go!" she asked in a soft tone. There was no need to upset the captor.

"Oh go to Hell! She stole my boyfriend! She stole him!" the woman shrieked at her, pressing the barrel even more tightly to Jenny's head which made the other woman wince in pain.

"I didn't… I swear, he didn't even…" Jenny tried but she was silenced with a slap across the face with the butt of the gun.

"Shut up! I know you were into him. I could see the way you looked at him!" the other woman spat.

"Look, Darcy..." Jenny tried again and suddenly it occurred to Lisbon that this woman must have been the same Darcy Jenny told them about when she and Jane first interviewed her. No wonder Jake broke up with this woman, weird was an understatement. Even though she was pretty with her wavy, auburn hair and green eyes, she was kind of a creep.

"Do not 'look Darcy!' me, bitch! Shut up and stay still!" Darcy yelled.

"Look Miss Roberts, let Miss Travers go! It will do you no good if you hold her captive, if you cooperate it would help your case with the DA. Tell me why did you kill Jake Hamilton?" Lisbon asked cautiously, wishing that the others would just notice her absence and come after her.

"That jerk was just playing with me! He took me out to dinner and was checking out other chicks and I bet he was just sleeping around while we went out!" Darcy hissed, her face becoming distorted with fury as she spoke.

"He wasn't like that and don't you dare say that about…Ahhh!" Jenny exclaimed, attempting to defend her friend but the other woman grabbed her hair and yanked it roughly in order to shut her up.

"He was screwing you too, wasn't he?" Darcy asked madly, her green eyes flashing with jealousy. "Wasn't he?" she screamed when Jenny didn't answer.

"No!" the other woman sobbed, tears falling from her eyes. Lisbon was starting to get frustrated by the situation and how she couldn't help Jenny. She desperately looked around, searching for something, anything to avert Darcy's attention for a few seconds.

"You liar!" the loud yell and a crash brought Lisbon's attention back to the two women and to her biggest horror she saw Jenny on the ground and Darcy pointing her gun right at Jenny's chest. "I'll kill you for it!" Darcy threatened and Lisbon knew she had no time left to ponder. She had to act now.

"No! Put your gun down!" She yelled confidently and in a rather bossy tone and she gripped her gun tighter, raising it so it was trained right on Darcy. "Put it down or I'm going to have to shoot you!" she said in a low, cold tone.

"No!" Darcy screamed and in a flash of a second she fired.

Lisbon realized with surprise that the shot wasn't aimed at Jenny but on her when she felt the burning pain where the bullet hit her. She heard her own agonized scream and her finger moved on its own accord, tightening on the trigger and shooting straight at Darcy. She heard the other woman's cry but her world was blackening around her and she felt her knees weaken and buckle as she fell to the ground. Her gun clattered to the side but she didn't care because her mind was too occupied by the anguish that took over her whole body, radiating from her neck.

She brought shaking hands to her neck, feeling like a knife was stabbed into her with every move she took. She pressed her hand on the skin, repressing her scream and held on tightly against the flowing blood despite the searing pain. She saw as Jenny leaned over her and asked worriedly if she was okay and with much relief she heard the arrival of her team and that was when she allowed her eyes to slip closed.

* * *

Lisbon gritted her teeth and resisted squirming as the doctor disinfected her wound, wrapped gauze all around her neck and expertly fastened it with band aids.

"You're very lucky, Agent Lisbon! The bullet could have hit you but it only grazed your neck. It left a nasty wound but if it came only a few millimeters closer it would have hit your cervical artery." The middle aged man told her with a smile and she repressed the urge to tell him that she didn't feel so lucky. Even though she knew that she got off easy with the gunshot she knew that she will have much trouble with her wound like this as well. She would be allowed to go home at least but she knew that she would be banned from field work for months and everybody would treat her like a porcelain doll. And to top it all, Jane wouldn't stay with her to entertain her as he sometimes did when she was forced to do paperwork because it was all awkward between them now. And despite the painkillers her neck and shoulder felt itchy, aching and like it was made of stone.

The doctor finished off the bandage then inspected his handywork with satisfaction.

"All done. You need to come back for a checkup a week from today and you should try and keep the wound away from water as best as possible. I prescribed some pills for pain you should take one or two per day and you cannot drive for a few hours after taking them. Do you have anyone who could take care of you for a day or two?" the doctor asked as he stood up and Lisbon hopped down from the hospital bed too. She felt a slight wave of dizziness wash over her and she held onto the edge of the bed until it passed.

"I can take care of myself." she said out of habit.

"Still, I would be much more comfortable if I knew that you had someone with you." the doctor insisted and Lisbon rolled her eyes.

"All right, I will have someone to take care of me…" she said without any intention of asking anybody to take care of her. The doctor seemed to sense her lie because he sighed.

"Why do I have a feeling you will be all alone?" he asked exasperatedly.

"I don't know." Lisbon let a grin spread across her face as she shook the man's hand. "Thanks and goodbye, doc!" she said before walking out of the hospital room.

She knew that her bullet did hit Darcy Roberts and that the woman was currently in surgery. She hit her abdomen but the nurses had already assured her that the woman wasn't in a critical state and the surgeon working on her was one of the best in the hospital. They said it might take a few days before they could interrogate her though but Lisbon was okay with that. She knew that Jenny Travers was back at the CBI with Rigsby, giving a statement. Apart from a slight shock she was unharmed.

Lisbon walked along the corridor in the direction of the entrance of the hospital. She wondered how on Earth she was going to get back to the CBI, or get back home for that matter since she didn't come to the hospital in her own car. She had her phone on her but she didn't have enough money for a cab so she decided she would just have to call someone from her team and ask for a ride. She grimaced at the knowledge that she would probably not be able to get back to the office today after all; there was no way any of her team members would allow her to go back. No matter how stubborn she was, they would just drive her home and wait outside until they made sure she was resting.

She was just pulling out her cell phone, her hand momentarily stuck in her pocket as she mulled over her options regarding who to call when she entered the waiting room.

Just across her was the door leading to the entrance hall of the hospital and she turned in that direction, her eyes running over the people in the small room absently. There was an old man, gray and wrinkled, holding a bouquet of daisies in his hand tightly. A few seats away sat a little boy, playing on his mobile phone and next to him a girl who seemed deep in thought. There was also a woman in the room, looking a bit battered herself with a cut above her lips and a still bloody wound on her left arm. She was all tense and staring at the door through which Lisbon just came in with a mix of hope and fear.

Lisbon moved swiftly, resisting the urge to touch the uncomfortable bandage on her neck. She was a few steps away from the glass doors when she caught movement from the corner of her eye. Her reflexes were still not the same because of the painkillers but she spun around nonetheless, cop senses and a bit of a remaining adrenaline kicking in.

However, before she could turn completely she found herself crushed in a tight embrace with strong arms closing around her. Her first instinct was to fight it but in the fraction of a second her brain recognized the scent the other person. It was the distinctive deep, soothing, fresh, masculine smell of Jane. A feeling of utter contentment and safety washed over her and she wound her own arms around him, cherishing this rare moment until she could. She was shocked to find him there, she didn't know why he was there when all he did was try to avoid her these past weeks but she didn't have much willpower to contemplate it. Before she had time to really process it her mind was overflowed with a series of unexpected emotions when soft lips pressed against hers in a tender yet desperate kiss. Her body reacted on its own as she stepped closer to him and slipped her hands into his hair. She kissed him back eagerly, her mind still not capable of a single thought. The sensations were cursing through her system, the tingling running up and down her spine as she felt Jane's arms tighten around her waist.

Her brain caught up with her actions just as their kiss got heated and was grazing the line between decent and indecent. She suddenly pulled away and would have taken a step back if it weren't for Jane's arms still around her, holding her close to him. Her knees felt weak and her head was swimming and she had a hard time catching her breath. Her eyes snapped wide open and now she was staring at his face, into his ocean blue eyes, asking for answers to the billions of questions that were flooding her mind in that moment but only finding one thing. Deep, true gentleness shining at her with full force only shaded by a hint of worry. It made her shiver. Nobody has ever looked at her with so much love in their eyes…

Her eyes immediately fluttered closed as his face inched closer to hers once more, but she found that he only pressed his forehead to hers.

Lisbon's heart was still racing and she could feel the eyes of every single person in the room fixed on them but she let it slide and enjoyed this moment. The moment she had been waiting for, for almost too long to admit, and the moment she seriously doubted she would ever be able to have. But still, there was one thought, one question nagging at the back of her mind, needing to break through the haze of tranquility and intimacy and get an answer so as much as she hated to do it she slightly pulled back so she would be able to look into his eyes and waited until she had his full attention.

"What about Red John?" she asked in a tiny voice, already afraid of the answer. She knew her heart would shatter into little pieces, irreparable if this would be taken from her now that she knew how it felt.

She watched as Jane's eyes hardened for a second and she braced herself for the rejection, for the second when he would pull back and shut her out completely but then he brought his hands up and cupped her face and his expression softened again as he regarded her.

"I don't care!" he murmured and any of her following questions were silenced by another mind blowing kiss.

Hours later in the darkness of her bedroom, laying face to face with their clothes still on they gazed deep into each other's eyes and Lisbon's mind was both blissfully blank and full of doubts and questions. So breaking the heavy silence that fell on them she opened her mouth to ask her most urgent inquiry, one that could not wait any longer.

"Why? Why now?" her voice was a barely there whisper but she knew that he heard it. She didn't break the eye contact, she needed to see, to know that he was honest. That he told her the real reason.

"I realized... I realized what a fool I was. This case, seeing Jenny's regret and pain made me realize that I was missing my chance, that life is too short to be afraid and wait. And then, today when you were… shot, it became all too clear to me that Red John wasn't the only one that could be dangerous for you. He might choose to strike tomorrow or next week and I could wait until he was out of the picture. But it's possible that tomorrow or the day after that a terrorist will blow up the city or a suspect will shoot you or me and while waiting for the day until it was safe for us to be together, I would lose you. And I realized I couldn't bear that. I realized that I'd rather have a chance with you and then fight for you and protect you than never to have a chance at all... We've waited too long to waste any more time."

Lisbon listened to him with tears in her eyes and when he finished speaking she moved forward and crushed her lips to his in a kiss that spoke volumes of her so long repressed love for him.

* * *

A week and a half later Jane and Lisbon were in her office, doing a little game of who can make the other one uncomfortable with mere glances best. Without a question, Jane was winning…

Lisbon was sitting behind her desk in her chair, chewing on the end of her pen as she was trying hard to concentrate on the papers in front of her. However, she could hardy read one sentence before she felt the blond man's intense stare on herself again, distracting her from work. Without looking up she knew that his gaze was full of innuendo and desire. It made her shift in her chair just to think about those blue eyes of his, darkened from emotions flaming inside them.

"Would you please, just stop it?" she snapped at him at last, shooting daggers at him at she turned her face towards the couch where he was 'napping'.

"What do you mean?" he asked, opening his eyes and looking at her with the most innocent eyes one could imagine.

"Yeah, just that…" she muttered, fighting a grin that was threatening to break out on her face and let him know just how adorable she found him. There was no use in stroking his already prominent ego.

"I'm sorry if you're frustrated, Lisbon." he said as he stood up from the couch and walked over to her. "Maybe… I could help you with it somehow…" he breathed into her ear and Lisbon shuddered violently. Her pulse hit the sky and she felt a fire run through her whole body.

"Jane. No. I told you, no funny business at work!" she growled, her hands curled into fists on top of her desk to keep her from grabbing him and ravishing him right there and then.

"Nobody's looking, Teresa… It's just you and me here." Jane murmured as he gently took a hold of the armrests of her chair and turned her away from the desk and towards himself. He leaned down, supporting himself on his arms and nuzzled her neck, pressing one, maddeningly sweet, tempting kiss on her neck.

Her hands fell into her lap and one of them came up automatically, burying itself into his silky blond curls. She grasped a handful of his hair as his lips moved along the column of her neck, up to her ear.

"See? It's much better already…" he told her softly, his hot breath caressing her skin and Lisbon let out an involuntary moan.

"Patrick… please. We can't." she squeezed her eyes shut, trying not to listen to her erratic heartbeats thrumming in her ear. Rational thoughts, she needed rational thoughts to clear her suddenly desire filled mind. She thought of the desk next to her, the paperwork waiting for her, Jane's lips on her jaw, the office, the couch in her office, how comfortable that couch would be… No, that's not what you should be thinking about!, she scolded herself.

With all the willpower she could manage she pulled on Jane's hair and at the same time she brought her other hand to the middle of his chest and pushed to get him away from her.

"Not in the office." she told him, trying to sound stern but actually her voice was weak and airy.

Jane's eyes met hers and she had to bite the inside of her cheek to resist his dreamy, sparkling blue eyes.

"Aww, you're no fun." he pursed his lips together in a pout and she let the smile spread on her face.

"I'm all fun when it's time for it. You'll see tonight!" she promised in a seductive voice, adding a wink at the end and she relished the way his lips fell open slightly and his eyes widened, his expression becoming distant. She took advantage of his awed state and pressed a quick kiss on his lips, not being able to ignore the call of those delicious full lips of his any longer, then playfully pushed him further back to be able to turn back to her desk.

She was picking up her pen to get back to work, feeling a lot better all of a sudden, not that she would admit that to Jane, when there was a confident knock on her door. She glanced up and saw Cho standing there and for a moment she panicked, wondering for how long the agent had been standing there. Jane was still petrified at her side, just standing there with a blank face and she nudged him with her foot to break him out of his probably rather indecent thoughts.

"Yes? Come in!" she called to Cho with a smile.

"Boss, I have some bad news…" the agent told her as he walked in and she saw just how serious he was in his eyes. He had a hard expression on his face and his eyes flickered to Jane nervously before they returned to Lisbon.

"What happened?" she asked, worry etching her features as she put her pen down.

"We've got a new case. It's… It's Red John." Cho said, watching her with observant eyes.

She felt all the blood leave her face and her heart, which had just returned to its normal pace, began to race again. Images of what she had, of what she could now lose in a second played in her mind and her eyes snapped to Jane.

He was still standing next to her and even though she saw how his jaw tightened and his shoulders tensed, he didn't show any other sign that he acknowledged what Cho had said. What surprised Lisbon the most that when her consultant turned his face towards her, she didn't see the crazy, haunted and driven fire in his eyes, he looked sad and grief struck but no matter how hard she looked, Lisbon couldn't find the urgent, unstoppable need for revenge on his face.

Without thinking she reached out and gently, carefully touched his hand and much to her astonishment Jane twined his fingers with hers.

"You okay?" she asked, feeling Cho's eyes on them, burning a hole into their joined hands.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Who's the victim, Cho?" he asked.

The agent opened the little notebook in his hand and read through the information.

"His name is Greg Morrison, he was found dead in his apartment." Cho said and Lisbon felt that there was more, there was something he wasn't saying just yet. Something that made his dark eyes dance with worry.

"What's his address?" she asked, letting go of Jane's hand and standing up.

"Boss…" Cho started hesitantly and that made her look at him again. His face was almost apologetic as he spoke the next words. "He, he lives next door to you…" he said at last and Lisbon felt the air run out of her lungs.

* * *

That night Lisbon was back at the CBI, arranging pillows and a blanket on the couch in her office since Jane insisted that she could not stay at home tonight. The day had gone off in a blur, she couldn't really separate the happenings from the moment she found out about the new case. They were rushing from the office to the crime scene to witnesses then back to the CBI and then to pick up suspects and to interrogation. She didn't have one second to rest, to just sit down and think about stuff. So now, alone in the quiet of her office, even if only for a few minutes, her mind was full.

Jane had been acting weird all day and it made her nervous. He didn't leave her side for a moment, but that wasn't the strange part. He wasn't shutting her and the team out, he wasn't hiding in his attic to look through old files and weave a brilliant plan to catch Red John. He was acting like it was just like any other case they had day after day. But it wasn't, it was Red John, his nemesis, the man he had been after for years. The man who had threatened to kill Lisbon and now, after only a few months of delay, seemed right back on track. He was of course worried for Lisbon, she could feel it, but it wasn't the same furious, blind, irrational fear and the constant guilt. He wasn't trying to keep her away from the case, while keeping an eye on her and trying to keep her safe, he was sharing with her. But most of all, he didn't really seemed bothered by the fact that it was Red John. He didn't act like all the leads were clues for him, he didn't act like he had to be the one to face the killer.

He stayed with her in the office, or brought the team lunch. He was helping but he wasn't obsessed with the case.

She brought her hand up to cover a yawn and she walked to the light switch next to the door. She turned it off and in the sudden darkness she shuffled back to the couch, watching her steps as she went. Her mind was still a whirlwind of questions and alertness and uncertainties and wishes and frankly, she was slightly worried about Red John and about what Jane's plan might be now. Because he had to have a plan, he always had. She just didn't look forward to finding out what it was. She knew that somehow, knowing that Jane had gone behind her back again would hurt even more now that they shared something more than friendship.

She lay down on her couch, a small sigh escaping her lips as her body sunk into the soft cushions. She drew the blanket over herself and turned towards the back of the couch in attempt to block out the small light coming from the corridor. She squirmed a bit, shifting around to be more comfortable. She should really catch a few hours of sleep…

Her eyes were closed, and she was trying not to think about anything and just relax when she heard steps behind herself. She instantly became all too aware of everything around herself, every little noise, every move and the fact that her gun was too far to reach it. She kept her breathing even not to alert whoever was behind her and she worked out a way she could make the best of the blanket around herself. She was ready to jump and fight when she felt the mattress dip beneath her and she winced at the gentle hand on her shoulder, peeling the blanket away.

Then she cursed her paranoid brain for giving her a mini heart attack when she recognized the scent of the person behind her. He lay down next to her, pushing her a bit so he could have space behind her. His arms sneaked around her waist as he nestled to her back and Lisbon smiled at the familiar feeling. His warmness seeped through her clothes and his arms and his mere presence made her feel calm, relaxed and safe.

"Hey!" she whispered, turning carefully in his arms so she could bury her face into the hollow of his neck, between his chin and collarbone.

"Hi!" she felt his lips move against her hair and felt him press a kiss there affectionately.

"You scared me…" she mumbled with a small smile, the admission sounding rather silly now.

"I didn't mean to. I told you I would come back to tell you a bedtime story." he murmured and his arms squeezed her.

"I'm a big girl, I don't need a fairytale to be able to go to sleep." she laughed, feeling all the tension leave her body now that he was there with her.

"No? Then why weren't you sleeping?" he asked in a teasing tone.

"Maybe I don't need a story, but I do need a goodnight kiss!" Lisbon said, pulling back so she could look into his sparkling eyes with a smirk.

"Oh, okay. Wouldn't want you to be unable to fall asleep…" he said with a serious face then leaned down and kissed her wildly. "Okay, so maybe I was just hoping that you would still show me how fun…you can be!" he muttered, emphasizing the word 'fun' with a dizzying kiss. Lisbon's body was alight with a fire his kisses ignited in her and she wanted nothing more than to give in and enjoy this night with him, but she knew it was too risky.

"Well, practically we are still in the office… And you know what the rules are in the office!" she breathed, feeling his hands curl around her hips and pull her flush against his own body.

"Don't be a spoilsport. Nobody's here except you and me. And I need you…" he growled, the last sentence almost animalistic and it made Lisbon's heart flutter excitedly. She gave into the urge to melt her lips with his and she moaned in surprise when Jane rolled on top of her so he was pinning her into the cushions of the couch. Her hands went around his neck and tangled with his hair while his hands ran up and down her sides, leaving trails of fire in their wake. The sound of their panting filled the room as their lips broke apart and Jane pressed his mouth on her neck in a wet, sexy kiss. Lisbon couldn't help but arch her neck to give him better access and a whimper left her throat as he ran his tongue down her neck and towards her collarbone.

"Patrick! Wait… I have to ask you something." she gasped after a couple of minutes as she finally had the strength to push him away a bit.

"Yes?" he asked, still hovering over her with a hungry expression on his face. Her shirt was hiked up on both sides and his hands drew tantalizingly soft and enticing circles on her skin which made it even more difficult to concentrate.

"You… oh… what's your plan now? Why are you acting so…uh, strange?" she asked with her eyes closed and she only opened them when she felt him pull his hands back. For a minute she searched his face in panic, fearing that now would come the moment when he pushed her away, when he shut her out and she knew she would crumble to pieces. But Jane only lay back down next to her and pulled her into her arms again and with a racing heart she rested her head on his chest, waiting for his reply.

"I have no plan. Honestly. My plan is to stay with you. My only wish is to keep you safe." he told her sincerely, gazing deep into her eyes with a tender smile.

"But…you…Red John. You wanted him to yourself. You wanted to catch him more than… more than anything. You cared about catching him more than you cared about your own life… How can you not have a plan? How could I believe you?" she asked, wincing as she realized how accusing that sounded. But Jane just reached up and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

"You have to trust me. I will not leave you this time. Now, there is something I want more than catching him. There is something, well someone I need more than my revenge… And even though, Red John must know that as well… I won't let him harm you. He won't touch you I will make sure of that on my own. But I won't run after him, I won't chase him as he is so used to it. Because I realized that he wants to be chased. And while back then, when catching him was my priority, I kind of enjoyed that chase, I was driven by my anger and my hatred and my guilt, now I have something else. Something much, much more precious. I don't need that chase anymore. But he does, so he will go absolutely crazy when he realizes I don't jump instantly and run after him. When he realizes that I won't try to find his clues and solve his riddles and crack his codes. He will go mad and he will be more and more reckless as he tries to get my attention. But he won't, because the only thing I care about is you. So as long as he doesn't come near you, I don't care. And if he does come near you, I'll catch him. And he knows that as well. So as he gets more and more desperate and angry… he will make a mistake. I know he will. And we will be there, when that time comes, and we will catch him eventually." Jane finished his small speech and Lisbon stared at him with amazement in her eyes. Was he really willing to let it go? For her?

"But, don't you think… that's dangerous? I mean he might kill more people like this…" Lisbon murmured as the meaning of his words sunk in. It was wonderful that he was thinking like that, but suddenly it occurred to Lisbon that this change must have consequences. Horrible consequences.

"Yes, that is a possibility and I feel terrible about it. But there is no good choice here and I decided that I don't want to give up what we have. It's too important to me, you're too important. So I made my choice and I have to live with it. Because I love you." he said and Lisbon sucked in a deep breath. He had never said those words to her since they got together. Now his eyes were full of emotion as he looked at her and she moved in without thinking, nuzzling her nose against his and kissing him with all she had.

"I love you too. And we'll sort this out. We will work through this together and we will be smarter than him. We will catch him, before he can do more damage!" she promised him when their lips parted.

"I know." he whispered and with one more peck on her lips his arms took their earlier place around her waist, embracing her to him. "Come on, we need some sleep before the battle!" he chuckled into her ear and she snuggled into his chest, more than happy to agree.

"Good night, Patrick!" she sighed with a smile, inhaling his scent and feeling herself more tired than she had realized.

"Sweet dreams, Teresa!" he grumbled in a low voice that reverberate through his chest and made Lisbon, whose head was above just his chest, smile contently just before sleep took over her body. Jane watched her for a moment longer with adoration shining in his eyes before he pushed his nose into her vanilla scented hair and followed her into dreamland, knowing that she was safe in his arms.

**Six months later**

"I told you we would catch him!" Lisbon murmured into the crook of Jane's neck, feeling the man shake in her arms.

"I know, I believed you." he whispered but his arms squeezed her so hard that she was sure he was still in that warehouse basement, facing his old enemy.

"It's over now, Patrick…" she told him gently, pulling back so she could look at his face. He was pale, his eyes teary and there was a tiny cut on his lower lip. Careful not to hurt him, she pressed a kiss on his mouth, light as air and felt his lips tremble.

"I'm just…. Dear god, are you okay?" he asked for the hundredth time since they came out of the building.

"Yes, I'm fine." she assured him patiently with a soft smile.

"Both of you?" he asked, his eyes slipping from her face to her tummy and Lisbon flushed a bit at his obvious worry.

"Yes, we're okay, Patrick!" she smiled, running her fingers over her stomach, feeling just the slightest bump there. It was still not visible with her clothes on and they agreed to keep it a secret for just a couple of more weeks.

"But… could you get checked out? Please, for me!" he pleaded and she rolled her eyes. He was being over protective again, not for the first time since he had found out that she was pregnant. But this time, it was Red John and she had been just a bit too close to being hurt than she would have liked so she took a deep breath and nodded. No matter how much she disliked hospitals and how she thought that these examinations were useless, she would do it for Jane. She would do anything for him.

"Thank you!" he sighed, his voice weak but at least his face had regained some of its natural color.

Both of them turned back towards the warehouse when three men rolled out a gurney with a black body bag on it. They pushed it into the car waiting to go to the morgue and when the black doors were closed with a bang Lisbon felt Jane's hand grabbing hers and entwining their fingers tightly.

"It's over." she heard his stunned whisper and she stepped in front of him and put her arms around his neck. She was usually against any kind of public display of affection, especially while on the job but she knew that nobody was really paying attention on them, and it was a special occasion. After all, they didn't catch Red John every day…

His arms came up around her middle instinctively and he hid his face in her long, brown hair. She stroked the back of his head absently as she felt tears well up in her own eyes as well. Her training had kept her from realizing just how close to death they both had been while in the warehouse. Back then, all she was thinking about was how to get them out of there safely and she was thinking like a fearless cop. But now, no matter how brave she was and how tough and unaffected she wanted to seem sometimes, the human in her came to surface and she had to swallow back her sobs. God, it had been so close! For both of them.

"It's over…" she repeated in an attempt to calm herself as well as him. She clutched his shoulders a bit more desperately now and Jane must have felt the change in her because he pulled back and looked at her, his ocean blue eyes full of understanding. He knew that it was her turn to be a bit vulnerable and he had to be the strong one now. So he got a grip on his emotions, blinked back the tears of relief and instead held her until she cried a bit into his chest.

"It's okay, my love. We're okay…" he whispered into her ear, rocking her slightly from side to side.

It didn't take more than a few minutes for Lisbon to compose herself again and as she pulled back from his chest, the only signs of her moment of weakness were the narrow trails of wetness across her cheeks. Her eyes were still glinting, but there was a small smile on her lips that widened when he reached up and wiped away her tears with his thumb.

"See? All better!" he told her with a playful grin and she chuckled.

"Yeah, all better!" she said and leaned in to capture his lips in another kiss. This was a bit longer than the other one, full of relief and hope and longing.

And when they pulled back, their eyes connected and both of them saw in the other's eyes the sparkle of joy and anticipation towards the future they were about to have together.

**So, this was it. End of story. Wow, that feels weird…  
Well, I really really hope you liked it and I can't wait to find out what you thought about it so please leave me a review! I would really appreciate your opinion! :)  
Thank you all for reading and a huge hug goes out to everyone who takes their time to write me a few words! It means the world to me and I'm really grateful for you all!  
I have no idea about following stories, but I don't worry at all, something will surely come up. Especially since the new season is coming… *can't wait!* Anyway, if any of you have a request or a story idea… Don't hesitate to contact me and tell me all about it!  
Thank you once again for all the support, and I hope to see you guys at next stories! You are awesome! **


End file.
